| My Days.....page 46 |
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| Jun 30 , 2002 1:21am CS |
| "A new life. What I wouldn't give to have a new life, one thing I have learned as I go through life - nothing is for free along the way. A new start, that's the thing I need to give me new heart. Half a chance in life to find a new part, just a simple role that I can play. A new hope, something to convince me to renew hope. A new day, bright enough to help me find my way. A new chance, one that maybe has a touch of romance, where can it be - the chance for me. A new dream. I have one I know that very few dream. I would like to see that overdue dream even though it never may come true. A new love, though I know there's no such thing as true love. Even som although I've known love, still I feel that one dream is my dream. A new world - this one thing I want to ask of you world. Once before it's time to say adue world, one sweet chance to prove the cynics wrong. A new life more and more and sure as I go though life just to play the game and to prusue life just to share his pleasures and belong that's what I've been waiting for." Sigh, that kiss is a memory I know time will never erase... I'm quite weary of the fight, but I'm still here seeing it through. Some how, some way, I broke my foot day before yesterday. In two places. I drove on it from Nashville where it happened, to Murfreesboro to where my friend Mark works. I was just going to get gas and drive home, but It was hurting so badly that I couldn't. Mark's mother is a nurse and she came and looked at it and we decided that I should have it x-rayed. I spend about 4 hours in the emergency room and was told that it was broken. I stayed the night in the boro with my friend Amy and drove home in the morning. \ PAIN SUCKS. It's been a while since I've had a broken bone, and it really is painful. They are going to set it on monday. Yesterday, My parents went to get my newphew Perry and when they got hom with him around 3:30 that really lifted my spirits :-) I love when he is around he just makes me smile constantly, even though he stepped on my foot! :-) The biggest thing that sucked is that I didn't get to go to pride this weekend. GRRRRRRR. Anyway, I am going to bed. SMILES/YAWN Good night. |
| Jul 02 , 2002 12:00am CS |
| I can't stand to fly, I'm not that nieve, I'm just out to find the better part of me. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face beside a train and it's not easy to be me. I wish that I could cry - fall upon my knees, and find a way to lie about a home Ill never see it may sound absurd but don't be nieve even heros have the right to bleed. I may be disturbed but once you can see that even heros have the right to dream and it's not easy to be me. Up up here away away from me well it's alright, you can all sleep sound tonight, I'm not crazy for anything. I can't stand to fly Im not that nieve. Men wern't meant to ride with clouds between their knees. I'm only a man in a silly red sheet digging for kryptonite on this one way street only a man in a funny red sheet looking for special things inside of me, inside of me, inside of me. I'm only a man in a funny red sheet - I'm only a man looking for a dream. And it's not easy, It's not easy to be me. Still Broken, but with a much better spirit :-) I'm not sure why but with all this lying around lately the past has really been on my mind a lot. I've made so many mistakes. There was this love, it was such a strange love you know. In fact, it kinda defined love for me. It's funny, but I think my heart, or my head or whatever it is. is telling me it's time again. That is kinda scary, I;m not sure what it's time for but I guess I'll be finding out soon enough. I've been focusing on all the things I've said and done, I guess they suit me fine, I do have some regrets of course, but I think we all do. I have pretty predictiable behavior, it seems they crave me sometimes. I change around the words that they say, and use them against them - I'm always standing in the flame trying to fan it, listening to the voice in my head, it makes no sense so I take a rest. "I have a demon for a wife he delights in their pretty faces and he hates my life he takes notes on how to provoke past greif, makes my teeth decay with the last of my self-belief." "Everything's so blurry everyone's so fake and everbody's empty and everything is so messed up. I'm preoccupied with out someone. You could be my someone you coiuld be my seed. You know that I could save you from all of the unclean. I wonder what you're doing , I wonder where you are. This ocean's in between us but that's not every far. " "Everyone is changing theres no one left thats real so make up your own ending and let me know just how you feel." I think I'm expecting the same thing that everyone wants in life. Someone. Make I'll run into that someone again someday... |
| Jul 18 , 2002 12:02am CS |
| (with the drums from "Lowrider" playing in the background...) You know somone drilled the serenity prayer into me once for a month or so. I have a shorter version.... FUCK IT :-) Yep, foot still broken, orthopetidics suck ass, but that is beside the point I suppose. I have a new and better version of the silly brace that I had on yesterday. YAY! Suprisingly enough, I had a pretty good day today, even though it was quite painful at times. I spent the entire day with my parents and my nephew and we had a pretty good time considering everyone (including the baby) was waiting on me the whole day. I'm not sure why I'm in such high spirits considering I learned today that I wont be able to walk on my foot for at least a little over a month. But, I digress, (the music plays..."It is always nice to see you said the man behid the counter to the woman coming in who is shaking her umbrella") Good night, smiles. (oh, and Em, you are still a slut ! :-)) |
| Jul 18 , 2002 5:41pm CS |
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I'm a boy loving Madonna-Listening QAF Watching Cat owning Judy Loving "chick" Hating Showtune humming Nail polish wearing Dick-Sucking Rainbow wearing Porn Staring Poem Writing Romance Loving Tom Welling (Smallville) Lusting Sometimes even drag wearing Boy - Watching Man - Scanning Raging HOMO! So deal with it! |
| "I've been watching you, you've been watching me, what's on your mind, give me a sign. Are you serious, are you dangerous, I want to play - Is it okay? Will you know my name, will you know my face, whill I ever see you again, after we dance, after we kiss, after tonight." It was good to talk to you today Ryan, it reminded me of your poem, so I put it here (and my revised edition, hehe) Hopefully I will get to come up and see you some time soon. And I managed to talk to Matt for a while today as well and was glad to know that he is doing well (As well as all of us) :-) Later..... |
