Two guys were playing a cart game of golf and were all square on the 18th. The first guy sliced his waaayyyy off the the left, and the ball came to rest on the cart track. His opponent smashed it straight down the middle. "Oh well," said the 1st player, "I should get a drop off there." "Heck no," said his playing partner, "we play the ball as it lies." "OK," said the first guy, as he dropped his opponent off in the middle of the fairway. The second guy found the green, and could not resist smiling as he saw sparks coming off the cart path for the practice swings. Finally the guy hitting off the cart path addressed his ball and swung it well, leaving a miraculous shot 3 feet from the pin. Upon returning, the guy in the middle of the fairway commented, "That was a great shot.... what club did you use?" "Your 6 iron," was the reply. It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Joe was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker - "Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee please back up to the men's tee, please!" Joe was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement - "Would the man on the women's tee kindly back up the men's tee!" Joe had had enough. He shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot!" This guy is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years!" he says. She reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man , oh man! Is that good!" Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?" He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!" Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?" And the mans replies, "My God! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there!" [Home] [Opinion] [Equipment] [Links LS] [Golf Tips] [Rules of Golf] [Monthly Joke]