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THE
AZWIPE AWARD To the WORST of SDSU's crappus newspaper and the people who make it possible. Graphics by Victor Hernandez. |
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MONTEZUMA'S REAR-END: The coveted statue (judging from all the crap printed so far) is awarded to those whose work belongs at the bottom, who have added yet another crack to their newspaper's credibility, and who, therefore, deserve to be the butt of this joke. It is glow in the dark and scratch and sniff, providing the recipients with the same smell their work provides us.
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THE NOMINEES FOR THE WEEK OF OCTOBER 26-NOVEMBER 1, 1998 ARE:
DANA BUSHEE (city editor) and KATE NELSON (editor in chief)
For their continuous cluelessness about relevant campus issues. What the hell is wrong with you, people? Don't you think there are BETTER stories to print on the front page than a fucking football game? (See October 26, 1998 issue for more details on this.) Can't you send some people around campus, into the classrooms, and ASK students about what's going on? Do you REALLY think football is THAT relevant? Geez! We even had to EXPLAIN Arturo Garcia about the decrepit state of the Art department because the guy has NEVER been to the Art building.
I mean, how can you justify having FIVE sports writers and no relevant news? It's ridiculous!
WHOEVER WROTE THE VOICE BOX and JOHN WOODS (opinion editor) FOR ALLOWING IT
Once again here we go with the wasted space. Do you REALLY need to waste half of the page just to ask what people are going to wear in halloween? Gee, what a thought provoking question. Almost as enigmatic as "what's your favorite color."
Interesting how the answers actually prove our point: 5 out of 6 people saying they're not wearing anything because they have important stuff to do. Don't you get it? We're in college! We're supposed to be ADULTS getting trained for a career! I don't know where the hell some of you people got the idea that college meant party. Perhaps another one of those nice, good ol' stablishment strategies to curve social subversion and replace it with cliche pop "rebellion"?
WHOEVER IS DOING THE CLASSIFIED ADS
So when are you adding that much needed new category to the classified ads? Oh c'mon, don't pretend you don't know what's the one kind of ads that have been running virtually without interruption since September. Just this week alone they even multiplied! "Attractive females needed for adult internet chat...."; "Busty females nude/part nude..."; "Models wanted for nude calendars/mags..."; "Models wanted! Females 18-24..."
Speaking about ads: did you notice that the Monday, October 26, 1998 edition of the Aztec has 5 pages of ads and 3 of journalism related material? Of those three pages one and a third were about, you guessed it, sports. Gee, so much information! Our brains are going to explode! (yeah, but with nausea...)
GINA SPECIALE (writer) and DANA BUSHEE (City editor who allowed it to happen)
For wasting half the front page just to tell us that with Proposition C the Aztecs would no longer share Qaulcomm stadium with the Padres (see Wednesday, October 28, 1998.) Our editorial in four words: WHO THE FUCK CARES?
Sheesh! All the stuff going on on campus--and around the world--and the only thing you morons can come up with is that now the Aztecs and the Padres won't chase some ball in the same place. Sorry but no excuse is big enough to justify this turd on the front page.
CINDY KIM
For, once again, speaking about a good issue from the wrong angle.
Here's what Cindy did: First she listed several hate-crimes. Then she said they were wrong (No kidding... Really? You think?) Then she said, at the very last paragraph of the column, that "We must strive for a better society" and all that other politician-sounding stuff (she is, after all, a political science major.)
Problem is Cindy, here, said nothing new. She merely repeated what has been said before, collaborating, perhaps unwittingly, into making an important issue a cliche. See, that's how good issues lose value: by mere repetition. Thanks to media overkill, and repetition of the exact same thing over and over people lose interest.
Since this is EXACTLY what politicians do to make sure people don't give a crap about important social issues (which would be dangerous for the health of the status quo), we wonder if Ms. Kim is either practicing for a future career in politics or merely trying to fill out space in a quick and effective manner. Seems like the former, sure looks like the latter.
DAVID MORRIS
For making a big deal out of the irrelevant. Ah, because, of course, in a place where people have to sleep on the streets without food, where people kill because of skin color and sexual orientation, and where the rich get even richer while the poor get poorer, Dave, here, has to waste half a page throwing a tantrum because he's not allowed to skateboard on campus (see October 29, 1998 guest opinion column.)
Dude, grow up.
Really, man. You DO know skateboarding is not allowed because nobody wants to be held legally accountable if you break your neck while pretending you're some sort of acrobat where you're not supposed to, right? You do understand that nobody wants some idiot on a skateboard bumping into people walking, right? You do understand that, don't you?
Sheesh! A graduate student and still behaving like some 14 year old. No wonder this place is so fucked up.
JAMES HOLTER
For the usual: writing with his ass instead of his brain.
Sometimes we really wonder what the newspapers will look like in the future with journalism majors like this moron. Lets see; October 29, 1998 opinion column: first there's this babble about power (double talk most of it just to make it look like he knows what he's saying), then some shit about human need for energy (oh, no kidding? Te cai? No maaaaanches! NETA? QUEL BURRO TE LA META? ANDANDO EN LA BANQUETA? Y EN UNA BICICLETA? ARRIBA DE UNA CAMIONETA?)
Then there's some more babble about conflicts between Asia minor and Asia major. Again notice the use of language to look as though he knows what he's talking about.
Then there's some typical Holter-grade stupidity: "People will seek the Yankee trader because of his or her puritanic business ethic." CORRECTION: The Yankee trader will seek out foreign countries (specially if they're third world countries) because it's SO EASY to rip them off.
And then, to crown the (cow) pie: "The battle I'm writing about is the battle of Armageddon. It has been prophesied and it will happen under the right circumstances."
WOW! WHAT A MARVEL OF INVESTIGATIVE REPORTING! ALL THAT SCHOLARLY TRAINING ON JOURNALISM IS REALLY PAYING OFF!
Gimme a fuckin' break! You know, Jimmy? You could have simply told the editors of the Aztec that you were STONED and couldn't come up with anything worth printing. It was NOT necessary to waste all that space, and double-talk just to say countries should not be so fossil fuel dependent. IT HAS BEEN SAID--and, we might add, in a more coherent fashion.
"Armageddon." Sheesh... Gimme a break! And we complain about what journalists do TODAY...
AND THE WINNER IS:
WHOEVER WROTE THE OCTOBER 28, 1998 EDITORIALASS KISSER! "We have confidence that President Weber will follow the wishes of the students on the upcoming referendum on the Aztec Aquaplex." That after saying a couple of paragraphs before "Why bother having a student vote when the president can override the results?"
Oh, so it is OK to play "democracratic student body" without really having it, eh? If this is really the opinion of the entire Daily Aztec then there's not much to hope for. It almost makes all those stories about assholeciated students (er... I mean..) Associated Students a complete waste of time. Why bother to know about what they are doing if Weber can override them anyway?
And by the way: It's not that we're interested in the aquaplex. But we DO have to pay a fee to support A.S.S. ...er... A.S. AND IT REALLY BITES TO KNOW THAT IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY BECAUSE WHATEVER THEY DECIDE WEBER HAS THE LAST WORD. And, judging from what you printed, you're perfectly fine with this.
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