A stranger pulled up in front of an old country store and said to the
old fellow sitting on the front porch: "I'm looking for a healthy
place to retire in this area. What's the death rate around here?"
"Same as most anywhere else," came the reply. "One to
a person."
Man staring at a woman wearing a fur coat: "And what defenseless,
unsuspecting creature had to die for you to wear that fur?!!"
Meek reply: "My Aunt Gertrude in Toronto."
A golfer was walking around the fairway with four caddies. "Why
so many?" his friend asked
"It's my wife's idea," he answered. "She thinks I should
spend more time with the kids."
Note in pay envelope: "Your raise will become effective as soon
as you do."
Two Sunday fisherment heard church bells ringing in the far distance.
One said, "You know Charlie, we really should be in church."
Charlie looked at his friend and replied, "Well you know, I couldn't
go anyway because my wife is sick."
Conversation heard at a boy's camp: "We're going home tomorrow.
Guess I better rumple my pyjamas and squeeze out half of the toothpaste."
