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Joke Collection #7
Top ten sexually suggestive lines in the Star Wars Trilogy
Star Wars
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in
time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts,
kid."
The Empire Strikes Back
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
7. "But now we must eat. Cum, good food, cumm..."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a
while."
5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled
up like that, huh kid?"
3. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
Return of the Jedi:
10. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
9. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will
call me master."
8. "I never knew I had it in me."
7. "There is good in him, I've felt it."
6. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost...
you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy,
hold me Chewie."
5. "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
4. "Back door, huh? Good idea!" 3. "She's gonna blow!"
2. "I think you'll fit in nicely."
1. "Rise, my friend."
But of course, one of the best is - "Wedge! Pull out! You're not doing
any good back there!
So you have queued 2 1/2 hours to watch Star Wars, the Special
Edition, you have played all the Star Wars games. You get goosebumps
when you hear the score. That's cool. But have you thought for a
moment what are the sexual preferences of the main characters?
LUKE SKYWALKER
Luke is gay. Relates to older men and ugly trolls. Has a crush on
Han Solo. Is nice to Leia, but calls her "a nice chap", behind
her back.
DARTH VADER
Gay. Has a slave/master relationship with the Emperor, and
covets younger men, particularly Luke.
THE EMPEROR
Ditto.
BEN
An old fruit. Darth Vader was his lover, but they split and now they
fight
all the time, using a combination of a vibrator and a torchlight.
LEIA
A complete floozy. Makes a pass at Luke in the first episode, which made
him become totally gay. Seduces Han Solo and has a tryst with Chewbacca.
Has an SM session with Darth Vader.
C3-PO and R2-D2
C3-PO has always been believed to be camp. Him and R2-D2 have married
in Aldebaran 3, where the law allows marriages of robotic life forms
of the same sexual inclination.
HAN SOLO
Bisexual. Very faithful to Chewbacca, on the male side. Promiscous
with females. Sleeps with LEIA, by default, as she is he only female
in the trilogy.
YODA
Relates only to men, preferably young. Yuk.
JABBA THE HUT
Heterosexual. Some strange tastes, but definitely straight.
THE EWOKS
Pathetically straight. Wives, children.... boring.
THE STORM TROOPERS
Kinky, wear pieces of plastic, possibly into SM.
(From: Maurizio Mariotti )
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