Teleplay by: Michelle Nader & Amy Cohen
Story by: Michael Craven & Richard Childs
Producers: Jeff Lowell & William Barnett
Director: Lee Shallat Chemel

Episode Length: 22:06
Guest Stars:

Rating:# million viewers rating share (n/a)

Rating:  TV-14

First Broadcast: April 29, 1997

Opening sound: Cat Call

Storyline #1: Getting Excited over Nothing
A woman speaking at City Hall looks much like the 1st love of The Mayor's life, Miss Lowell, his High School French teacher. Thinking back to those days causes The Mayor to get "that funny feeling". Because he is now "excited", he does not stand up when the woman finishes speaking, causing some to take offense. However, had he stood up, the crowd could have seen how excited he was. Much discussion takes place about how men are stuck with this problem and what they can do avoid it. Mike and the staff begin to look for ways to pass off The Mayor's "snub" as a non-threatening disease so there will be no backlash. After Paul gives The Mayor some symptoms, the press believes the Mayor might have heart trouble. Eventually, the staff finds a less serious illness for The Mayor to "contract", sleep deprivation. After the staff keeps him up all night, Mayor Winston is given a physical by a beautiful woman doctor. And although she proclaims The Mayor to be in perfect health, Mike takes a shine to her and reacts much the same way The Mayor did with Miss Lowell. The final scene is of Mike carrying the podium to cover himself as he leaves the press conference.

Storyline #2: Loser Olympics
It turns out Nikki has finally found herself someone who she feels is a prospect for a long-term relationship with her new boyfriend, George. She likes him because he's "...male, heterosexual, and interested in me." However, Mike and Carter are less than impressed since George seems to be something of a cheapskate. He steals flowers and gives them to Nikki and makes her pay for everything. Later, he also steals office supplies, toilet paper, and moves in with Nikki to save on rent. When asked what George contributes to the relationship, Nikki states that he is a writer, to the chagrin of the staff. Finally, Nikki agrees to Stuart & Carter to break into Nikki's apartment to look at George's script. They find a futuristic space play that leaves much to be desired. But as they leave, Stuart looks through Nikki's laundry and finds one of her bras. He becomes infatuated much as The Mayor did with Miss Lowell (see Storyline #1). Carter is equally as taken with a pair of George's boxers. At the end, Nikki reads that George is getting a huge advance on his script and claims the staff owes her "...one rich husband. And he better have a rock-hard ass!"

Review: Bone Free

Overall, a stand-up outing. The staff are at their frantic best and each adds to the show. What throws a wrinkle in the formula is Mike's new found interest in Nikki. It will be interesting to see if the writers try to pair the two up now that James appears to be out of the running. I don't know if they should, (see the Ashley debacle in Episodes #1-12) and the show seems to have hit it's stride now that Mike is no longer tied down to another character. If the shows goes back to that, there will be less time spent letting the rest of the cast continue to mesh. As for being TV-14, it certainly lived up to the rating. (Sorry for being ambiguous in the storylines but that's just the way it is.) Hopefully, next episode will be spent contemplating matters "above the equator."

Rating [5 pt. scale]: 4.0

Did you notice ...

Striptease?
Mike uses his NY Ranger coffee mug again?
Nikki is a C-Cup?
Stuart says it took him 4 seconds but it actually took him only 3 1/2? (And he never looked at the start time so he doesn't really know what his time was.)
Miss Lowell is the first woman The Mayor slept with?
so many people were named after show staffers? 

George Rudell after Kirk J. Rudell, Writer & Story Editor 
Dr. Maria Barrow after Maria Barrow, Associate Editor 
Miss Lowell after Jeff Lowell, Co-Producer

 

Top 10 Lines

10. Mike: (to Nikki) "You know, any time you want to break up with me, you don't have to give me cab fare."
9. Stuart: "Why do women always go for losers like him?"
Carter: "What, instead of losers like you?"
8. Mike: "Even though The Mayor wasn't standing, he was at full attention."
7. Mike: "Basically, by 6 o'clock, anyone in the city with breasts is going to hate us."
Stuart: "Welcome to my world."
6. Mike: "Paul, if I'd have given you any more time up there, you would have declared The Mayor dead."
5. Mike: "You can scold it, smack it around a little. That only seems to encourage it."
4. James: "Mike, I didn't know we were allowed to take toilet paper home."
3. Nikki: "George is not some kind of deadbeat. I'll have you know he is a writer."
2. The Mayor: (about taking LSD) "Coincidentally, that was the same night I decided to run for Mayor."
1. Mike: "Playing doctor should be left to qualified professionals. And of course, curious youngsters."

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