And some more stuff that I wrote to Zoe:
To tell how last night went...well, Sarah showed up late, giving Remington and I time to make out in the car. Which is when I found out that he and Zoe were possibly going to get together Friday night also, but he hadn't been able to remember what was going on then that made him unable to go. I felt uncomfortable when he said this, and if I could have, would have thought of a way to say "Well, you can skip this if you want, it's okay, I'm afraid to have you meet my freako friends anyway." He said he'd have to e-mail her canceling.Requital You wanted to get inside me, in my room and in my heart and in my life. And I wanted to get inside you, too. -Terry Egan
She was just incredibly hyper for no discernable reason, and he was very um, quiet. As you can imagine, it was very odd. I didn't know what to do, kinda went back and forth (hmm, like being around my parents in the good ol' days) between 'em, didn't do any of our usual PDA'ing. He was helpful on recommending drinks, anyway, and I managed to get Sarah hidden so he could buy them (it's not the best idea to show up with two teenagers- well, one that LOOKS like a teenager) and then try to buy liquor). I was afraid they'd like each other too well...well, I dunno how this is going to go, but I am not worried about that any more. Neither of 'em said much to me, other than about looks (he thought she'd be shorter/have shorter hair, she said he didn't look like a guy who'd do all that stuff, he looked normal). Oh, and his hickies are really um, noticeable, even under the shirt... I am rather nervous about tonight's party. Well, Remington said he could do some bartending (and mentioned on IRC that he could bring over some other stuff), so I guess he'll be useful, but, well...this'll be awkward, I think. Unless everyone gets REALLY drunk...
After that, for some insane reason we decided to go to his house in the boonies for the night (well, so he could drop off/pick up stuff), and went back to his house so he could get the stuff and well, e-mail. He e-mailed her saying that I'd invited him to a party, make it Saturday night then? I felt uncomfortable in reverse there, like when I'd thought we were going to his house for the whole weekend and it turned out he was going to Santa Cruz Saturday night. I kept thinking she would feel like I had- well, I don't know that for certain, but, well...I was sorta hoping he wouldn't mention that the reason he wasn't going to make it was because of me. But he did.
Oh, and he was sending Sonja (head of GSA) something about the article they got quoted (badly) in, he said that Sonja was considering the article's writer (the editor-in-chief that didn't hire me) her enemy now or something, and I said that I'd met her once and she was a ding dong. He loved that and said he had to send that to Sonja. As I was watching him write it, he said something like "Jennifer said that she knows ____ and that she was "a ding dong." I was all surprised that he'd just mention my name like that...does she know who I am? (As the hickey-inflictor?) I said that and he goes, "Well, you talk about me, don't you?" Good lord, the entire GSA (board, anyway) knows who I am? Ai yi yi. Seems weird to me somehow...I had a slightly less strong reaction to that when he was checking e-mail here once and got one from his dad asking if he could call him (that night I guess) and he said "Nah. I'm at Jen's." He goes around talking about me...mm, wow.
In the car going over, the conversation was um, very um, interesting...well, first he was telling me about some East Coast swing class Yamara (swing- obsessed) told him about...and asked me to do it with him. Awww...=) I've never been into swing because it requires a partner and I never had one, but, well...wow, I have a partner now. =) What a shock.
To explain the title of today's entry...on the newsgroup there was a thread going about geeks, and he put up some sort of gobbedygook up there that I didn't understand, and he asked me if I'd tried to decipher it (yeah, right). He said it was called the Geek Code, and he wanted me to go translate the thing...then mentioned something called the Whore Code... I think you can guess what that would be...and he said he'd like to see mine.
Yeek.
I dunno about that...I don't think I want him to see that I don't live up to all of what he's done, I mean, how embarrassing...but I did calculate the thing today. Dunno what I'm going to do about it though.
One of the things he does in random conversation is to ask you, "So what do you really think?" The first few times I heard this I said what you'd normally say, "About what?", but he would never specify a topic or nothing to um, discuss (Yo! Linda Richman! Over here! We need you!). Which I found to be a little um, frustrating. Apparently what he meant was just that you should spout off on a random topic or whatever you were thinking at the moment...which I found difficult since he often did this when I had been spacing out and staring at him and thinking of nothing. Eventually I learned to make something up to say. Well, for some random reason of my own, I pulled this one on him in the car. And he said, well, that he was glad that Zoe and I seemed to be getting along/being friends/something, because if we didn't, then he might have to break up with both of us and go hide under the covers for six months or so, (Yes, he did say that. How bizarre, I thought. He has mentioned doing that before, namely after two of his friends and his sister attempted suicide, all in the same week) and if we all get along the chances are better that it'll last longer. And he also said "I did tell you that I wouldn't dump either one of you for the other, right?" I said no, but I'd pretty much guessed that.
I'd go on to detail the rest of the night, the next morning, and our conversation on IRC today, but, well, um, I can't =)
And some more stuff that I wrote to Zoe:
On the subject of what confuses me:
Well, even before this whole situation I was pretty confused/
discombobulated in the romantic arena...my last "relationship" (LONG
story) basically drove me up the wall with yo-yoing behavior and ruined
many things for me and beliefs that I'd had, etc., and I was very
messed up off it and bitter- in some ways I still am, I guess. And
after that I'd had a nightmarish date that prompted me to start taking
self-defense, and more being jerked around by guys I'd been having
crushes on who seemed to really like me and then well, ugh (they turned
out to be frat boys...coincidence?), so when Remington asked me out I
figured my dismal track record would continue and this wouldn't go well
either...instead this has led me to believe in a new theory that
whatever you think won't happen to you will (and vice versa)! So THAT's
confusing, for one.
Another is the age difference bit...I've dated even older than Remington, actually, but not for very long, and well, many people I know find this to be a bad thing. (It shut my aunt up at New Year's though, which pleased me no end! She's pretty awful...well, most of that end of the family is. They're Montana redneckish folks who think I should be married and/or pregnant (not necessarily in that order though) by now because they all were, they drive me up the wall. As you can probably imagine, I don't want them to find out about my dating life...well, ever. Too bad my dad blabs. Wow, wasn't THAT a long parenthetical remark?) In another ironic twist of fate, a friend of mine who was 18 at the time got a boyfriend (well, fiance now) who was 35, she'd met him off the Internet...and while I've met him and he is a nice guy, we were all very weirded out by this, worried that something dreadful would happen to her...so pulling something similar MYSELF...geez. The God of Irony just laughs his head off at me.
(I know, neither of those really has to do with what you thought I was going to say, does it? Well, uh, surprise?)
The final confusing thing IS the multiple girlfriend bit. Aside from my already discombobulated mental state, this just well, complicates things even more in my already-pretty-complicated life. Everyone I know that I've told this to thinks that a. I'm insane (well, they thought that anyway though), b. that I should be jealous, and c. that somebody'd better break up with somebody (mostly, me break up with him) because this is ridiculous. It's really made a few people pretty touchy or mad at me. Which I don't enjoy dealing with, and well, explaining it to them hasn't worked real well. Mostly it hasn't worked at all. And naturally I have to hide this from the relatives, especially my dad...I'm not thrilled that I have to do that. And well, another issue with me is that I was very much in love with my ex and thought it was mutual, and eventually he made me feel really bad that I liked him more than he did me (unfortunately this took a long time for me to discover, well, I suppose he changed, but he didn't let on about that for too long of a time), and well, I'm very much leery of doing that again, getting all attached (like I said, I don't know how I feel) and then things getting bad like before... Not that I necessarily think the same crap is going to go down here that did previously, I don't- but this is another complication that makes me nervous because it does have well, possibly troublesome aspects to it. I'm sure there's other things too, but I've been writing this for hours off and on by now and I can't remember anymore what I was going to say.
I do have some questions for you on this:
1. How do you keep things straight between dating multiple people? Does
living in different towns really help that?
2. How do your emotions work in all of this? Juggling the guys, I mean...well, I don't know how to put it.
(On my not being bothered by dating someone who was dating someone else too)
Surprisingly, it didn't...I didn't find out about the other girl for quite a while, but when I did I wasn't bothered at all...despite everyone else telling me that I should be. (Although I did find it annoying that she had the same name as me.)
I did meet her once when we were both at a concert of his and she seemed to be a nice person. But it didn't last long with her.
(She then said that if she is dating someone who has someone else, she feels better doing so as well)
That's what I was thinking about this, but well, I'll see what happens.
And people have been telling me that "um, guys aren't going to like it
that you have a boyfriend", and that also seems to make it difficult
to find someone else.
She also mentioned something about how she didn't think he was good at balancing out non-monogamy, I asked how you tell, and she said that he did one thoughtless slight that made her extremely uncomfortable.
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