Archive Page 2 [1]

Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn
how to swear. So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old,
"Okay, you say `ass' and I'll say 'hell'". All excited about
their plan, they troop downstairs, where their mother asks them
what they'd like for breakfast. "Aw, hell," says the
eight-year-old, "gimme some Cheerios." His mother backhands him off
the stool, sending him bawling out of the room, and turns to
the younger brother. "What'll you have?" "I dunno," quavers the
six-year-old, "but you can bet your ass it ain't gonna be
Cheerios."

Q: What do you call a Spice Girl in a toaster?
A: A pop tart.

Fu, Bu and Chu immigrated to the US from China.
They decided to become American Citizens, and "Americanize"
their names. Bu - called himself "Buck"
Chu called himself "Chuck"
and Fu had to go back to China :)

Q: Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
A: To keep his ankles warm.

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office for a checkup. Afterwards, the doctor took the wife aside and said, "Unless you do the following things, your husband will surely die." The doctor then went on to say, "Here's what you need to do." "Every morning make sure you serve him a good healthy breakfast. Meet him at home each day for lunch so you can serve him a well balanced meal. Make sure you feed him a good, hot meal each evening and dont overburden him with any stressful conversation, nor ask him to perform any household chores. Also, keep the house spotless and clean so he does'nt get exposed to any threatening germs." On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor said. She replied, "You're going to die".

Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dislexic?
A: Some one who's up all night wondering if there is a doG.

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