Better Than Sex Lists

Top ten reasons Hockey is better than sex

It's legal to play hockey professionally.

The puck is always hard.

The protective equipment is reusable, and you don't even have to wash it.

It lasts a full hour.

You know you're finished when the buzzer sounds.

Your parents cheer when you score.

A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon.

Periods last only 20 min.

You can count on it at least twice a week.

You can tell your friends about it afterwards.

Chocolate is Better Than Sex

You can GET chocolate.

You can even legally pay to get chocolate in any state!

"If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.

Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.

You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.

If you bite the nuts the chocolate won't yelp.

Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.

The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.

You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.

You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.

You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.

With chocolate there's no need to fake it.

Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.

You can have chocolate at any time of the month.

Good chocolate is easy to find.

You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.

You are never too young or too old for chocolate.

When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.

With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good

TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAT SEX

You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.

Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.

If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

Less guilt the morning after.

YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.

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