"Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled! Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned, the name of the book that I read was Treasure Island. It's about these ... pirates. Pirates ... with patches over their eyes ... and ... shiny gold teeth ... and green birds on their shoulders ... Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Louis Stevenson? And published by the good people at McGraw Hill. So, in conclusion, on the Simpson scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, one being the lowest, and five being average, I give this book ... a nine. Any questions? Nope? Then I'll just sit down."
Bart's book report, "Bart Gets an F"

"I got held back in the fourth grade myself, twice! Look at me, man! Now I drive the school bus!"
Otto, "Bart Gets an F"

"I'm no theologian; I don't know who or what God is exactly, all I know is He's a force more powerful than Mom and Dad put together, and you owe Him big."
Lisa, "Bart Gets an F"