FACTS ABOUT DANZANIA
Compiled from the U.S. C.I.A. World Factbook
LOCATION
19 00 N, 59 25 W -- east of Mexico, south of Greenland, west of Africa, east and west of Japan
A green background with parallel palm trees bordering a portrait of a telephone psychic worker, with the motto, "Tread On Me" in yellow letters PICTURE
27,750 sq km: slightly larger than Maryland, but nowhere near as big as Texas MAP
LAND BOUNDARIES
275 km eastern border with the Greater Republican Union of Bulemus (G.R.U.B.)
COASTLINE
1,771- 2,123 km, depending on mysterious off-shore volcanic activity
MARITIME CLAIMS
"As far as we can see." Also, parts of Biscayne Bay.
INTERNATIONAL DISPUTES
Claims US-administered Navassa Island. Also, claims the US should administer Danzania.
CLIMATE
Semi-arrid, with pockets of tropical heat. No wind beyond coastal regions.
TERRAIN
Rocky, with loose pebbles and sand. Lowest point: Death Valley -1 m; highest point: Mt. Kilimanjaro 8 m (low tide).
NATURAL RESOURCES
A particularly hardy form of wild and domesticated rutabagas.
POPULATION
731,539 (July,1996)
Birth Rate: 38.15 births/1000 population
Death Rate: 38.16 deaths/1000 population
Life Expectancy at Birth: 93.6 years, males 81.2 years, females 102.3 years
ETHNIC DIVISIONS
None. Everyone is a mix of 10-12 different races and basically chooses the one they want to be on official forms and surveys.
The officially recognized religion is Hard-Shell Baptist (influence of missionaries from Alabama). Head of Church: The Rev. T. Lawrence (Larry) Shannon. However, most people refrain from any discussion of religion or politics, in hopes of becoming consultants.
LANGUAGES
Spanish/Cajun/English, with a few Hebrew words for emphasis.
GOVERNMENT
Type: an absolute monarchy (His Majesty, King Danxii III) with a rubber-stamp parliament.
Capitol: Port Au Selma (missionaries again) PICTURE
Independence: 1 April 1916 (from Haiti)
National Holiday: Ground Hog Day (he comes out of his hole, sees the shadow of a machete, and is eaten by the celebrants)
Constitution: molded on 4 April 1916
Legal System: based on the Napoleonic Code and Alabama common-law, with most disputes settled by "varmint races".
Suffrage: eligibility begins at birth, so kissing babies is a serious political skill
Executive Branch:
Monarchs- H.M. King Danxii III, Queen Mabel
President - Mr. Kenbo Krakatoa
Various Ministers - Rotates based on who wants to do it
Duchess - Sarah Ferguson (Fergie)
Legislative Branch:
Parliament - members elected at-large every 25 years (with a 2-term limit..."setting an example for the US")
Judicial - mostly "race" referees, with continuing disputes elevated to the Supreme Varmint Race of Appeals
Political Parties - National Organized Front for Union and Nationhood (NOFUN), Grand Old Time 'Cause we Have Autocracy (GOTCHA)
ECONOMY
Labor Force: 689,743
By Occupation: 2% rutabaga farmers, 83% telephone psychic workers (and part-time government officials), 15% tourists
Agriculture: rutabagas, wood, grass
Exports: essential advice on love, marriage, and investments.
Imports: everything not brought in by tourists.
TRANSPORTATION
Railways: Uncle Jimmy's Kiddie Railroad at Fun City (will haul adults for extra charge)
Highways: paved 2 km; unpaved 3,978 km
Ports: Port Au Selma, Mobile, Gadsden, Tuscaloosa Shores
Merchant Marine: Danzania Cruise Lines
Airports: Danzania International and Crop Duster Airstrip (Port Au Selma)
COMMUNICATIONS
Telephones: 2,134,896
Radio: one country and western station (new hat, mostly)
Television: one satellite dish; gets TOON, ESPN, TNN, TBS, CMT, and bleed-through on the Playboy Channel
DEFENSE
Branches: Ocean Rangers, Air Demons, and Ground Hogs
Draft Age: 35 males, 32 females, universal service
Defense Expenditures: 8 billion dinookies
EDUCATION
98% literacy in some language; school attendance is mandatory through the 3rd grade.
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