None of articles referring to any living figures are actually true. The intent of the articles is not to malign or defame important public identities. As part of the robust nature of political debate satire is often used to illustrate themes through the use of exaggerated characterisations. Placing public figures in unusual contexts is another technique.

No reasonable person could believe for instance that the current immigration minister would try to sneak onto the set of a sexual exploitation series such as Temptation Island in a drunken stupor. It is well known that Philip Ruddock is a non-drinker and it is unlikely that he would ever indulge in taking excessive amounts of Viagra.

Contrary to indications in the article Sam Newman, the well-known football commentator, is very much alive. The public perception of Newman at times has not been favourable. After some high profile incidents many see him as a loud mouth and an oaf. Rather than confirming those perceptions the article was an exposition of the logical conclusion mob rule and rough justice.

It is a well-known fact that St Kilda football club lost the AFL premiership. However I cannot seriously say this is example of bad karma.

I will steadfastly standby the intent and anecdotal insights contained in the sex advice column. After exhausted personal research into the human condition and observing sexual tension between friends 1 can confidentially claim that the article is 100% accurate.