It seems to me that there are four possible approaches that can be taken if you fall in love with a friend.

The "continental" approach: So called because no one in this country is cool enough to make this approach work. The first step is to be honest about your feelings and tell your friend about your attraction. After you've revealed all both of you have a laugh and deal with it like mature adults. You may or may not have sex; the important thing is that the friendship doesn't change, if anything it gets stronger.

The "you idiot" approach: Highly popular amongst straight men. In this approach one of the parties attempts a clumsy pass or an inarticulate expression of their affection, hence - "you idiot". Rejection is almost instant and the resultant awkwardness and guilt effectively kills the friendship. We shouldn't be too judgemental about this approach all of us have either taken this path ourselves or played this nightmare scenario out in our minds and then adopted the pragmatic "Homer Simpson" approach (details below).

The "what have we done" approach: Most practiced under the influence of drugs. In this approach there is no rejection, the friends root each other like farm animals. The approach is characterized by speed, there is no preamble and foreplay is kept to a bare minimum. Two distinct possibilities arise once the foreplay has finished, hot sex or awkward sex. If the sex sizzles friends often feel they could never go back to being "just friends" and romantic fascism dictates that the love of your life cannot be someone you've already known for five years. Not being able to go forward or backwards the friendship stupidly ends.

The other end of the sex temperature scale is slimy cold sex. The sex fails to meet everyone's expectations, even your housemates in the next room. Like the hot sex scenario the friendship comes to an end but this time the friends even avoid each other at parties. There is only one saving grace from the "what have we done" approach. As it is often experienced under the influence of chemicals both parties can resume their friendship by mutually blaming the indiscretion on drugs.

The "Homer Simpson" approach: Recommended by nobody but practiced by just about everyone. Named after Homer's philosophy on life, "don't attract attention and keep your fool mouth shut". This is the most popular approach because most people aren't cool enough for the "Continental" wish to avoid the "you idiot" and are too shy for the "what have we done". The key characteristic of this approach is denial; individuals initially deny their feelings to themselves and then make damn sure the other party doesn't find out. But the curious twist is that they really what their friend to find out and body language is always a give away.

Friends who take the "Homer Simpson" approach often torture themselves with the following trilogy "I think they really like me", "They only like me as a friend" and most brutally "They don't really like me at all". The emotional state of a friend in this situation oscillates between fear of attraction and fear of rejection. There is enough material in this internalised melodrama to write 4 novels, 2 movies or 1 Andrew Lloyd Weber musical. Most people aren't natural drama queens so the friends slowly and gracefully drift apart only privately dreaming of the possibilities.

In conclusion, most of us are Homer Simpson's who desperately want to be cool but are to scared of fucking up, or more accurately, Doh!

So what do you do if you fall in love with a friend?