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No one understands me, she thought. They'll never understand. Then she decided that it didn't matter what anyone else thought. She was determined to show them that she really did love him.
I'll never marry him, though, she thought. She knew about Leighanne, and understood that Brian was happy with her. But I can be his friend.
She smiled in her sleep, embellishing upon the thought. She imagined getting telephone calls and letters from him, then pretending that he was her long-distance boyfriend. She figured it wouldn't hurt to make-believe.
Thoughts tumbled over themselves in her mind until she finally fell into a light and restless sleep.
Meanwhile, Brian had a fairly enjoyable night, considering the circumstances. As he lay awake in bed, he thought first of Holly. Was it possible that she was really his soul mate? He envisioned her in his mind, her black curls of hair framing her small, pale face, then cascading over her thin shoulders. Her eyes were a brilliant shade of green, brighter than any eyes he had ever seen. She was unique; he had to give her that. In the short time he had known her, she seemed like a nice person. Still, he doubted she could make him happier than Leighanne had. He figured her judgement of him was probably clouded by the fact that he was famous. He had found that many fans expected him to be perfect, which he wasn't.
Then his attention shifted toward Leighanne. At least that hadn't happened with her-she hadn't even known who the Backstreet Boys were when she'd landed a spot on his band's 'As Long As You Love Me' video. He smiled at the thought of her, picturing her the way she'd looked at their wedding. Her long, silky blonde hair had looked angelic next to the soft white dress she wore. He remembered her smile, and the words she had whispered to him that day.
"We're going to be so happy…" Brian wept softly, already missing his wife. Not long after the last tears fell from his cheeks, Brian fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.
The next morning, he woke up to the sound of birds chirping. He threw the blankets covering him off himself and walked to the window. He peered outside, and soon saw the source of the sounds. A group of birds crowded around a feeder hanging from a tree outside the window, each tumbling over the others in an attempt to claim a few crumbs of food for itself. Brian laughed, and retreated to the bed. He sat down on its edge and scanned the room for his clothes. He located them piled in a heap on the bedside table next to him. He picked them up and was about to pull his pants on when the door opened.
Holly walked in the door, then froze. She quickly thrust her hands over her eyes and took a step back
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know you were changing… I just wanted to tell you that breakfast was ready," she stammered apologetically, peering through a tiny crack between her fingers.
"It's alright," Brian said. "I've got my boxers on."
"Umm… ok," Holly said, the words barely escaping her lips in a tiny whisper. She let her hands drop to her sides and watched as he pulled on his pants and zipped up the fly. As he turned to face her, she could see what she considered excellent abs.
"You said breakfast, right?" Brian asked, deeply inhaling the scent that had pushed its way into the room. "It smells wonderful!"
"Mrs. Mason-er, Martha, makes wonderful pancakes," Holly agreed. "I'll go now, and you can come out when you're ready." She took another step backwards until she was just outside the door.
"All right," Brian said. She was about to close the door when Brian stopped her.
"Hey wait-I was wondering if you'd like to go shopping with me today… I have to pick up a few things." He had realized the night before that he didn't have anything with him.
"For real? You want me to come?" Holly asked, her eyes widening.
"Yeah, sure. I think it'd be fun," he said, smiling.
"Ok! Thank you!" Holly said, a smile spreading across her face.
"No, thank you," Brian countered. "You found me a place to stay!" After negotiating when they'd leave, Holly left the room. Brian was thankful he'd been smart enough to bring money with him. He'd also brought his credit cards in case he ran out. After all, he wasn't entirely sure when he'd be home, or how he'd get there.
After getting dressed and eating breakfast, he and Holly sat outside on the porch talking.
"The police found my parents hiding in their closet," she laughed. "Those guys who broke into our house were looking for some painting, but they didn't find it. The cops found them this morning." Her voice took on a serious note as she spoke the last sentence.
"So your parents are all right?" Brian asked.
"Yeah, I talked to them this morning. They're down at the station answering some questions. My mom still doesn't believe you're here!" a giggle escaped her lips. She thought for a moment, then turned to Brian.
"So where were you planning on shopping? What kind of stuff do you need?" she asked.
"Everything," he answered. "Clothes, especially."
"You're not going to find anything good here," she said, tilting her head to examine her clothes. "I had to go out of town to get these."
"Maybe we should go out of town, then," Brian pondered.
"Really? Oh man, this is gonna be so cool!" Holly gushed, straining to muster the most straight face she could manage.
Brian was silent for a moment before speaking the rehearsed words that had been circling in his mind since early that morning. "Ummm… you know I travel a lot, right?" he asked hesitantly, stretching his arms out in front of him.
"Yeah, why?" Holly asked, turning her attention from her clothes to the person sitting next to her.
"Well since I'm never in the same place for very long, I sometimes forget where I am…" he said, letting the sentence drift off into the warm summer breeze.
"Oh, I get it. You don't know where you are," Holly said, smiling at him. "Well, I can tell you that you're out of your country,"
“Which one am I in?" Brian asked, cringing at the thought. Lucy had said that Holly lived far away, but he didn't think she meant out of the country!
"Canada," Holly recited nonchalantly.
"Whew!" He breathed a sigh of relief as he realized that he was in Canada, and not any further from home.
"You seem relieved… do you like it here?" Holly asked, her eyes searching his for an honest answer.
"Yeah! Yeah, it's great here… the air is clean, which is something we don't get too much of down in Orlando," he said all in one breath, his eyes drifting toward the pale blue sky.
"I suppose," Holly said, slipping into a daydream. "But it's so boring here. Orlando must be so fun with the huge shopping centers… Disney World… I've always wanted to go there," she fantasized.
"It's all right, but it gets a little boring after awhile," Brian mused.
"I would give anything to get out of this town," Holly sighed. "There's nothing here. What I really need is some excitement in my life."
"I have more than enough. This is exactly the kind of life I don't have!" Brian laughed. "I don't suppose I can do anything about it, though."
"I know what you mean," Holly said. "When you're famous, people don't leave you alone at the end of the day… your life is your job!"
"That's exactly what it's like," Brian agreed. "Our wedding would have been a disaster if it wasn't for the good security we had."
Holly felt her heart sink when Brian mentioned his and Leighanne's wedding. This was supposed to be her moment of glory, and all he could do was talk about Leighanne. She tilted her head back and began humming the tune of one of her favourite songs. She felt it described her feelings perfectly.
I didn't come this far for you to make this hard for me.
And now you want to ask me "how"?
It's like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?
How does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?
Why did you come here?
You weren't invited.
You were on the outside - Stay on the outside.
And now you want to ask me "why"?
It's like - why does your heart beat, and how do you cry?
How does your heart beat?
And there are some things that I'd like to figure out.
There are some things that I can do without -
Like you, and your letters that go on forever,
And you, and the people that were never friends.
With all the things that you could be,
You never could learn how to be me.
And now you want to ask me "how"?
It's like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?
How does your heart beat, and why do you breathe
**Song "How" by Lisa Loeb, from the CD 'Firecracker', and the 'Twister' soundtrack**
"So I guess you're really happy with her, aren't you?" she asked, changing the subject. "She seems like a very nice person… if only I had what you do,"
"You will," Brian assured her. "Love is always where you least expect it, in people you never dreamed possible."
"Did you think you'd marry Leighanne when you first met her?" Holly asked, meeting his gaze.
"Well at first I thought she was a little old for me, but when you fall in love, age is so far from your mind that it doesn't matter at all." He returned his gaze to the sky above, which was quickly turning into a deeper shade of blue. The clouds drifted away, leaving nothing but a clear blue expanse that stretched across the horizon. Holly smiled, trying to enjoy the moment. After all, she was sitting just inches away from the man of her dreams. She felt the anger she had felt earlier dissipate as quickly as her frown had faded. Brian turned to see Holly smiling. "So do you have a boyfriend?" he asked.
"No…" she said, still looking out into the sky. "I haven't met anyone around here who's just right for me. None of them have the right eyes."
"What do you mean?" Brian asked, confused. He couldn't believe she'd be so shallow as to rate a person on their eyes!
"When I meet the right person for me, I'll know. When I look into his eyes, I'll see our future together. There's a certain… a certain feeling you get when you look into the eyes of your soul mate. Everything around you disappears, and the only thing that matters is that very moment, right there in front of you.
Nothing overshadows the feeling of finally finding the one who's meant for you."
Brian was in awe. "How do you know?"
She turned and winked at him. "When the right time comes, you'll find out."
Welcome The Darkness