Pisces (Feb 20-Mar 20)
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or the CIA. You have minor influence over your freinds and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidenceand are generally a coward. Pisces people screw small animals and constantly pick their noses. 

Aries (Mar 21- Apr 19) 
You are a pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. .You are a prick. 

 Tarus (Apr 20- May 19) 
You are practical and persistant. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist. 

Gemini (May 20- June 20) 
You are quick, intelligent and a thinker. People like you because you are bi-sexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest. 

Cancer (Jun 21- Jul 22) 
You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and never woth a shit. 

Leo (Jul 23- Aug 22) 
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are a pussy. Most leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards and kiss mirrors alot. 

Virgo (Aug 23- Sep 22) 
You are the theological type and hate disorder. This shit-picking attitude is sickening to your one friend. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps. 

Libra (Sep 23- Oct 22) 
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent. Most libra woman are whores. All libras die of venereal disease. 

Scorpio (Oct 23- Nov 11) 
You are shrewd in buisness and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son of a bitch. Most scorpios are murderers. 

Sagittarius (Nov 12- Dec 21) 
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of saggitarians are drunks and potheads. People laugh at you alot because you are always getting fucked. 

Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19) 
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a capricorn of any significance. You should kill yourself.

***TOUR***
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