I thought I would like to pay a tribute to my mother....somehow say how very much she meant to me....but where does one begin? How do you put all of the feelings you have for someone on paper and make others truly believe it's so? Where do you even begin? I don't really remember the first time she held me in her arms...after all I was but a tiny newborn little baby....I'm sure I must have been aware of the fact that she loved me right from the beginning but I don't remember it! I was the child she was told she should never have due to her own health problems....but have me she did, risking her own life in the process! What does that say for love? I arrived into a loving family consisting of a mom, a dad and two brothers. I really don't remember a lot about when I was very little but I do remember I was loved! If no other memories remain with me, I felt that love as I was growing up. I may have been just a little spoiled along the way as I was the baby girl! Perhaps you need to ask my brothers...I'm sure they could tell you. There are many things which she did for me that I was not aware of at the time....what child understands that it is a mothers love which keeps her up all night watching you when you don't feel good? Or takes you to the store shopping all by yourself so that you don't have to share her with anyone else? I do remember that mom was always rather sickly and if we had given her a hard time we paid when Dad got home. He had only to speak to you about the virtues of being kind to your mother as she was the only one you would ever have! I hated that little speech and would much rather have been whipped but it did do the trick!

As I grew older and became wiser I began to see the value of a mother as special as mine! I don't think I ever appreciated her fully until I married and had children of my own. I remember one day calling her and telling her I was sorry for anything I had ever put her through! It had been a rough day with my two toddlers and I suddenly realized the patience and love that was required to raise children! Dad had a heart attack sometime in the early 70s and he remained at home with mom full time. She managed to keep him busy doing things around the house while still maintaining a close relationship with him ..... even though they were together 24 hours a day....Now that says something about a very special woman! I lived next door to them and we saw them everyday but never did they interfere with my life. They were solid examples of how love just grows stronger through the years. Somewhere in that time since his heart attack and when he died they both found a new life in Jesus! BOY was the love found there ever strong! Dad died in 1980 and mom was like a lost soul. The following year she had heart surgery...I am convinced that she had a broken heart from losing my dad. She managed to heal and carry on while depending on David and I for a short while. Then she was once again as a free bird! Soar...well let me tell you...she COULD almost fly and her independence began to show. She moved to the deep woods where only animals such as deer and bear are occasionally seen! All by herself she took root 22 miles from us and seemingly anyone. We worried about her of course but there was nothing holding this woman back. She lived there several years before she found a companion and returned to civilization.

In the following years she began to show little signs of forgetting...actually it was much more than a little...however I guess we were all in denial! Some other things happened along the way but finally we admitted that Alzheimer's had come to stay and she required more care than Fay was able to give. She came to live with me and my family! She was here for a little over a year and during that time we became much closer. The whole family accepted her as if she had lived there forever. She was a handful sometimes and I did get a little short on patience at times but the love between us continued to grow as she was now the child and I was the mother! Eventually the day came all too soon when I could no longer care for her. The dreaded decision was made that she would be placed in the nursing home. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do.....I felt as if I was deserting her forever when I turned and walked away from her. I watched her there for a little less than a year as she declined in everyway. The emotions that are involved with this disease involve a giant roller coaster ride which has never been a thrill for me! I began to pray that God would take her peacefully and quickly. I loved her with all of my heart but to see her arrive at a place of peace was well worth the sacrifice I would make. It became a constant struggle for her to maintain some kind of touch with reality...something which would never again be. We had many good days where she would tell me she loved me and stroke my face ever so gently. Those few days far out weighed the bad and I shall focus on them in the days ahead.

On Dec 14th she passed into the next world....she went to meet Jesus Christ, her personal Lord and Savior. Peacefully and quietly she took the hands of angels who guided her on her way. I can see the twinkle in her eyes now and a little dance in her step as she followed them along the path! This Christmas she shall celebrate a birthday party with the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings and I have a feeling there will be cake for all....you see we always had a birthday cake on Christmas day for Jesus so I am assuming she will be baking on that day! My wish is to be half as loving, half as giving and half as spiritually minded as my mother was. She was a wonderful wife, mother, sister, grandmother, friend, and companion. I will miss her gentle touch upon my hand, her soft kiss upon my cheek, the twinkle in her blue blue eyes, and her little giggle. I will miss those little shopping trips and picnics in the snow. But I know now that she is in a safe place....safe in the arms of the Lord that she so loved. So today I am rejoicing in the fact that momma is happy and has gone home where it is now her permanate residence for all of eternity! She will sing and dance and all will be well with her soul. Someday I will again see her and we will have a party there on the shores of Heaven! I love you mom Brenda