30th April 2002 All in all I reckon it's been a pretty disappointing season, if you discount getting to the FA Cup final, which I do. Whether we like it or not, the facts are (and before you start: they are facts, Les, you muppet) that the football was no worse under Vialli. In fact a lot of the time is was a good deal better, and do not forget that Vialli won a lot more in two seasons than Ranieri has done. Failing to achieve a top four place and missing out on the Champion's League after investing countless millions in playing staff must have brought Santa Bates out in a sweat as he counts the cost, but as he has said, Claudio is building for the long term. Providing Ken sticks with his promise, which is unlikely if Chelsea don't achieve success very quickly, that is good news. I think Ranieri is a good coach, and he deserves the chance to build something at Chelsea. For both our sakes let's hope it isn't too long before he achieves what every Chelsea fan is waiting for, because at the rate things are going I will be unable to join in with "Knees Up Mother Brown" when we win the Premiership, due to crippling arthritis brought on by old age.. 22nd April 2002 OK, they started off well, and ran the game for most of the first half, but once United scored from a free kick the fight seemed to go out of them. the longer the game went on, the more the players backed off, leaving Man U to run the midfield and hence the game. I just can't understand it. Maybe Don Claudio could explain it to us ? My only consolation on an otherwise depressing day was having the pleasure of seeing the World's Worst Manager, John Gregory, presiding over his team's relegation to the dustbin of the Nationwide First Division. Tracksuit and football boot-wearing Gregory famously declared that Chelsea are a small club and that he has never liked us, presumably because we had just thrashed his previous team in the FA Cup Final. I've nothing against Derby Per Se, as they can usually be relied on to provide us with a safe six points a season, but Fabrizio Ravioli and Gregory are such a pair of cunts that perhaps you will understand my delight at their denouement. My old chum Dr Les is just as upset as I am about the result on Saturday, but for different reasons. Read on if you can bear it... 15th April 2002 Brevitt's performance brought back vivid if slightly uncomfortable memories of the time as a child when I visited an animal sanctuary and amused myself by waving a carrot at a three-legged donkey - I still remember killing myself laughing watching the poor bloody thing trying to run across the paddock to get to it. At the last moment I would, of course, pull the carrot away and run round to the other side of the paddock to repeat the performance. Such, ladies and gentlemen, was the relationship between Jesper and poor old Rufus last night. Unfortunately an otherwise superbly entertaining game was marred near the end by a few morons in the Chelsea section of the crowd who mindlessly booed Slavisa Jokanovic before he'd even kicked a ball. Do these monkeys imagine that he will put in a better performance if they trash his confidence ? The guy is a great player who needs the crowd behind him just like all the others. Even JFH would be shit if he got that treatment - if you can't see that then you are as stupid as you look when you boo players who chose to play for Chelsea above others. John Terry reminded us that he is now one of the best central defenders in England, holding the line superbly along with Marcel Desailly, who was also outstanding. The only players to disappoint were, suprisingly, Jimmy Floyd and Eidur Gudjohnsen, who were efficiently man-marked out of the game by the Fulham defence. Graeme Le Saux retired after four minutes with a mystery leg injury, sustained while at least twenty yards away from any other player on the pitch. Carlo Cudicini made one of the best saves I've ever seen to keep Chelsea in the game after John Terry scored from a JFH corner. While we're on the subject of JFH taking corners: what the fuck ? A more stupid tactic would be hard to imagine. The excuse is that his corners cause problems for defences, but there are at least five other Chelsea players who are capable of taking corners just as well. Even I could manage to hoof the ball into the general area of the goal from less than 30 yards away, and, as Dr Les will no doubt confirm, I am renowned for being even worse at kicking than Dimitri Kharine. I don't care what you say, having your top scorer take corners is lunacy of the highest order. Finally, on a different note, a message to all you coke-sniffing halfwfits working in the marketing departments of certain low-rent commercial organisations: attempting to advertise your useless products for free in my guestbook is not only sneaky and dishonest but a complete waste of time - I vet all entries before they're published. I have a good laugh at the latest half-baked scheme to fleece football fans before consigning it to the bin. This week it's a mob of wasters who want to charge you a tenner to text football scores to your phone. I fucking ask you ! 11th April 2002 One of the said matches that Les and I attended was the one versus Derby, which as I mentioned earlier was bloody awful save for the sight of the World's Worst Manager John Gregory hopping around on the touchline wearing football boots. Les has picked up on this in a letter that I received from him this morning, which is scathing even beyond Les' normal boundaries... 5th April 2002 3rd April 2002 Exactly where this will leave Don Claudio on Ken Bates' shitlist I cannot say, but don't forget that Vialli was fired for achieving a good deal more than old lemon-features is likely to do this season. Actually I have finally come to the conclusion that I like Don C quite a lot (the capering and hollering at Three Point Lane did it for me), and have faith that he will be able to build a top team, but the question is how long will he be given ? Only Santa knows... I had the misfortune to attend the Derby match last Saturday. I say misfortune because A) I had Dr Les with me, and B) it was one of the worst games you are ever likely to see. The tedium was only broken when we noticed that the world's worst manager, John Gregory, was wearing full training kit including studded football boots. Why he felt this was necessary to do his job (alternately abusing his players from the touchline and then handing them bottles of water), I cannot say, but he did succeed in looking a total cunt. Which is pretty apt, don't you think ? March rants
© 1996-2002
Priesty's Chelsea FC Refuge.
Cardiff Bound
Such regulars as I have left will be pleased to hear that I have managed to obtain a ticket to the Cup Final on Saturday. This means that once again I will be able to bring you an eye-witness account of the pageantry that is normally associated with the Cup Final, but from my usual world-weary, drunken and inevitably skewed point of view. I do not hold out much hope of Chelsea winning against a team we always struggle to beat, but as long as the final doesn't disappoint from the footballing point of view I will not mind too much. The "pundits" (idiots) on TV will disagree that Chelsea are underdogs, citing the old chestnut that the FA Cup is a great leveller. If that is so, why, then, in 99% of Cup Finals are both teams from the Premiership, fuckwits ?
Seeing Red
I am appalled at the antics of some of the players on Saturday during the game against Man U. Perhaps they felt that as we have already qualified for Europe via the FA Cup then there was no point in raising a sweat trying to beat United ? Or were they a bit tired after so many games ? Although I should probably not say this, the word "bastards" springs to mind. The players might not care about being humiliated in front of their own fans, but personally I found it hard to stomach, and so I'm sure does every other Chelsea fan worth their salt.
From Stamford Bridge To... Cardiff
A solid performance against Fulham puts Chelsea into the FA Cup Final for the fourth time in eight years. The game is greatly enhanced for us lucky fans by constant argy-bargy between Jesper Gronkjaer and Rufus Brevitt, the Fulham defender.
Les Gets Shirty
You will be as relieved as I am at the news that Dr les has somehow found his way back to the far east after a week's bender in London. His visit encompassed two home Chelsea games, which he attended in a loutish and drunken way, as I am able to attest having attended them with him in an equally sordid fashion. It is somehow comforting to find that some things never change, including the Good Chelsea/Bad Chelsea that we have come to love over the years.
Win Cup Semi Tickets
In order to disprove the persistent, scurrilous rumours that this site has nothing more than cheap innuendo and childish humour to offer the discerning Chelsea fan, I can tell you that the BBC are running a competition to win two pairs of tickets for the FA Cup semi-final. I won't charge you for this...
Priesty Returns
I've been on holiday for the past week - sorry about the lack of updates. Since I have been away we have lost by a jammy last-minute non-penalty to Liverpoo, beaten Derby and drawn against Ipswich. It is clear that these are not the results of a title-winning team, and in fact we will be lucky to qualify for the Champions League at this rate.
