| .....something happens when you look at me, i forget to speak.....something happens when you kiss my mouth, my knees get to weak.....could it be true, this is what God has meant for me.....cause i can't believe that something like you could happen to me..... You know, I never asked him to fall for me. Never. Why in the world would I ever do that? I mean, he had a girlfriend, and from the looks of things, they were going to be together for a long time. Until I came along, apparently. He and his girlfriend were nearly inseperable. Whenever they weren't touring or doing promotional stuff, that is. Ever since they told the world they they were dating, they've been attached at the hip whenever possible. I was just a lowly fan, someone who watched him from the audience, clapped and sang along to the songs, and someone who dispised his girlfriend. Oh I hated her. I HATED that girl. And, believe me when I say this, but I swear that it wasn't because she was dating him. In fact, I was in favor of him having a girlfriend - even if it had to be her. I would've rathered it to be me, but whatever. I didn't like her because... I'm not gonna get into that right now, I just didn't like the girl. Anyway. I managed to get backstage at an 'N Sync concert. And I actually had an All Access Pass around my neck. And I didn't get it because I slept with a roadie. Just for the record, I got it through a friend of a friend of a friend of my cousin Chris. I was messing around in a hallway, talking to a few roadies, trying to find 'N Sync, when a song came over the sound system of Veterans Stadium that I liked - Someone Like You. Someone was apparently playing the new 'N Sync album, Celebrity, and making the crowd go crazy before the group was even remotely ready to go onstage. Naturally, I began singing along. I always sang along to songs I knew and liked - hell if I was gonna stop just because I was in public. About halfway through the song, I got tapped on the shoulder by someone. I was remotely peeved because someone was interrupting me while I was singing, but I stopped and turned around. I'm not sure what happened. All I know is that one second, Justin Timberlake was smiling at me, and the next I was on my back on the floor and there was an extra 175 pounds on me, and I was staring into a pair of really blue eyes. Damn, he has really nice eyes... After being pulled to my feet by Justin, who was run into by Chris on a skateboard, I introduced myself. We got to talking, and Justin informed me that I had a great voice, and that if I ever wanted to pursue it, he'd be there to help me. Of course, I was skeptical at first, why does he wanna help me he doesn't even know me, but when I inquired about his intentions, he said he understood why I was wary, but he said he only wanted to help out aspiring singers; he said that he could've used the help when he was starting out, and he was glad to introduce me to the right people. I was still a bit wary, but I did give Justin my cell phone number. I didn't expect the cheap little piece of plastic to ever ring with Justin Timberlake on the other end of the phone. But, amazingly enough, I actually did get a call from the ex-brillo pad. And less than two weeks after the concert, no less. Things basically took off from there. All of a sudden, Lance was my manager, I was signed to FreeLance Entertainment and FuMan Skeeto Records, and after that, I got a contract with Jive. And, thanks to having 'N Sync on my side, you know, the guys that went through a much-publicized legal battle over their record contract, I actually got a pretty damn good deal. I was wearing FuMan Skeeto clothes wherever I went, my choregrapher was Wade Robson, and I was co-writing my songs with Justin and JC. The guys of 'N Sync became five of my best friends within a few months. I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but I think it happened when we started touring together. Justin and I became inseperable. Whenever we weren't onstage or doing promo stuff, we were playing basketball, or rollerblading in random hotel hallways (or the parking lot of whatever arena we were in), or doing whatever. I think it was because we had the same mentality about a lot of things, and because he's only a year older than I am. I didn't meet Britney yet - she didn't visit Justin on tour because she was on her own tour. And I was quite content with that, I didn't feel like dealing with her unless I had to deal with her. I'm thinking it was when we were playing basketball that one time in Georgia. I had the ball and I was winning, ten to eight. And I don't think he was letting me win, either. Every time I scored a basket, he'd give me a pissed-off face. Which, most the time, I returned with the finger and a laugh. Which, of course, he returned with sticking his tongue out at me and making the... oddest... motions with it. Anyway. I was dribbling up the court, toward Justin, when I turned around and began walking backward, dribbling the ball in front of me, my back facing Justin. When I thought I was close enough to the basket, I spun around and tried to take a shot above Justin's head. Naturally, it didn't work very well, since Justin's nearly a foot taller than me and his arms are really long. He ended up pretty much slamming into me to break my shot, knocking me off balance. I grabbed onto Justin's t-shirt to steady myself, but the only thing that I succeeded in doing was pulling Justin down with me. When he landed on me, I had the weirdest sense of de javu. However, for some reason still unknown to me, his arms went around my waist. I let them there and I didn't know why. At the time, my brain was screaming "He has a girlfriend!" but I couldn't stop my arms from going around his neck. The next thing I knew, he was kissing me. In the middle of some random parking lot where we had set up the basketball hoop. Why I didn't stop right away is beyond me. My head kept screaming at me, but my heart was telling it to shut the hell up, this felt... right. I eventually broke the kiss. Things were different between Justin and I from then on. There was always this tension between us. We stopped playing basketball together, for one thing. But it was impossible to avoid each other - we were on a three month tour of the US and Canada together, I was signed to Chris' record label, I had a clothing contract with Chris, and I was signed to Lance's management company. Even if we weren't on tour, we still couldn't avoid each other. We tried to remain friends, espically when we were around Britney... I met her eventually, and she just seemed... I'm not sure how to put it... Okay, I am. She seemed wrong for him. Not that I was right, she just seemed wrong. Whenever they were together, she was clinging to him. Did it make me jealous? To a certain extent, yes it did. I hated the fact that he was with her and not me. When we kissed, it just seemed so right, so perfect, so... It was everything I wanted and didn't want at the same time. I hated being alone while he was with Britney. I hated it. So, naturally, being like any other slightly jealous nineteen year-old girl, I snagged myself a boyfriend. I knew him from Way Back When, he worked at a radio station as a Nighttime DJ. I had known him since I was about sixteen, and to tell the truth, I had been harboring a huge crush on the guy since the moment I laid eyes on him. All my friends knew I liked him, even HIS friends knew I liked him... But all of a sudden, I got signed to a record label and everyone kinda forgot about the crush I had on him. Myself included. I got so damn busy I couldn't even breath for a few weeks back then, if I recall correctly. But when the 'N Sync Tour made a pit stop in Philadelphia a few months later, for the next leg of the tour, I made sure to fill up Section 103 of Veterans Stadium with my friends and family - and pretty much the entire staff of 97.1 & 94.3 BHT, plus contest winners to see 'N Sync and the Local Girl Gone Pop Princess. I also made sure that I was booked for at least one interview with J.J. while I was in town for three days. I got to hang out with him backstage for a while, we babbled about anything and everything that first day. I conned J.J. into staying overnight in Philly - I do believe I paid for his hotel room with cash out of my pocket that night - much to Justin's dismay. He had Britney with him, but seeing me with another guy made him jealous. I knew it. Because when Justin, Britney, J.J. and I were sitting in the hotel pool after the concert, he was going out of his way to give Britney extra attention. He kept on glancing over at J.J. and I, giving J.J. a weird look behind his back at points. Naturally, that only fueled the fire. By the end of that night, J.J. and I were "dating as often and as much as possible," with me being out on the road as often as I was. I honestly forgot how much I really liked him through the year that I basically didn't see him due to recording my demo and promotions and such. I forgot what it felt like when I saw him walk into a room, I forgot that it made my heart skip a beat... I forgot what his arms felt like around me, hugging me... I almost forgot what his laugh sounded like. But it all came back in a flood of memories the instant he walked backstage with two other DJ's from the station, Dave Stewart and Jeff Walker. Justin was pissed. When I had to leave J.J., Britney also had to leave. The guy wouldn't talk to me, he wouldn't play basketball with me anymore, I was forced to kick Lance's ass on the court. And as much fun as it was winning all the time, I wanted my best guy friend back. I confronted Justin about the whole damn thing. I was sick to death of his bullshit and I didn't wanna deal with it anymore. I wanted to either be friends with the guy, or I just didn't wanna have a damn thing to do with him. It was all or nothing, and at that point, I didn't care if he chose nothing because I was so pissed at him. Justin stayed silent through all my ranting - but when I was done, he looked me in the eye, and said bluntly, "I broke up with Britney. I don't wanna be with her, I wanna be with you." I nearly fell over. They had been dating for over four years at that point, and I honestly couldn't imagine anything ever getting between them, espically someone like me. He knew I had a boyfriend, whom I cared about very much, and he goes and tells me this. At first I was shocked at what he said - that kinda thing only happens in the movies and on the internet - but he said it, and he was being truthful; the man can't lie to me when he looks into my eyes. After I got over my initial shock, I wanted to hit him. How dare he spring this on me now, when he KNEW that I was with J.J... I wasn't about to break up with J.J. for Justin Timberlake, as much as I loved Justin. I loved J.J. too, and I had for over three years. Sure, I had a crush on Justin, but J.J. was a whole lot easier to get to than Justin when I was a teenager. And there was the fact that if I did break up with J.J. because of Justin, the world would know everything about me. They knew about Justin and Britney when they were dating - right down to where the two had pasta together on March 25th, 2001. I didn't want that for my relationship. Eventually, someone caught on that JuJu wasn't dating Britters anymore. And that I was dating a DJ from northeast Pennsylvania. The rumor mill started up - soon enough, the world guessed why Justin broke up with Britney. And they found out about J.J., and that we had been dating for as long as Justin was single. I continue to date J.J., I love him and I don't care what the world thinks. It bothers me that Justin is still "in love" with me, as everyone close to him still says he is, but what can I do? I'm not about to break up with my boyfriend, just because someone else likes me, and because he happens to be a bit more well-known than J.J., a bit more finantially secure than J.J. and a bit taller than J.J. (ok, like a foot taller but whatever). Justin can wait - or he can always go crawling back to Britney. To say there's hard feelings between the two of us in an understatement. I can't even talk to him now, without getting pissed off because he tries to make a move on me or something. Like I said, I never asked him to fall for me. I had better things to do than to fall for a pop star. Like falling for a DJ. |
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