Bush asks reporters how many still wished Clinton was president and was shocked by the response.
With former president Bill Clinton still the main act in the media circus and political dogpits of Washington, President Bush is feeling left out.
At a White House news conference Thursday afternoon he greeted the press with "remember me? I'm your damn president. You know what I did this week?"
Members of the press corps admitted that they, in fact, had no idea what Bush had been up to the past few days. "You're boring," one of them complained. "All you do is talk goofy and take naps. Clinton's got pizazz."
Bush admitted that while the Clintons seem to be lightning rods for controversy the press should not underestimate his own administration.
"Hey, I'm trouble too, you know," he said to the scoffing laughter of reporters. "No, really! What do I have to do for attention, bomb Iraq every freakin' day?"
Bush then called to attention the upcoming fight between Colin Powell and John Ashcroft (see Fight Is On) as "a divisions in my ranks. Why don't you cover that?"
Reporters shook their heads at the president's meager attempts to bait them. Finally, in frustration, Bush angrilly shouted that if they didn't start paying more attention to him and his religious right agenda he would "pardon the Clintons and end this whole menagarine."
He also promised to become more blatantly scandalous, such as having sex with one of his staffers or even vice president Dick Cheney just to make the press happy.
