VP: Absolutely not - that's just people talking out of their hat. Just because I made around thirty-six million dollars as the head of an oil company, or just because the Bush family has a history in the oil business, or just because Condoleeza Rice has ties to Exxon and has an oil tanker named after her is no reason to accuse this administration of a conflict of interest. Those are common situations that can describe any average American.

MKG: Right. Do you think it's fair then that your administration is taking the blame for the current situation involving an energy crisis?

VP: First of all, it's not this administration's fault that we are in the situation we are in. It's Bill Clinton's fault, because he didn't have an energy plan in place. Look, just because oil prices skyrocketed the moment that President Bush decided to begin his run for the White House is simply a coincidence. It's not like his father, former president Bush, picked up the phone and called the Saudis to mess with oil prices.

MKG: I'm glad you brought that up, because it has been suggested that is exactly what happened - to cause conflict and get his boy into the White House. You're going on record to say that didn't happen?

VP: Boy, lovely weather we've been having lately isn't it?

MKG: Understood. Perhaps you would like to explain what the current energy policy is or plans to be?

VP: Of course. As you know, we are looking at drilling for domestic oil everywhere and anywhere, as long as it's in a national park or wildlife preserve. We also love the idea of coal, gas and any other non-renewable, destructive resource. But what I'm really gung-ho about is nuclear power. That's the cat's pajamas if you ask me.

MKG: So we've heard. Why does that seem like the best solution to you?

VP: Because it's cheap, clean and enviromentally sound.

MKG: (Questioning silence)

VP: Okay, so maybe it's not that cheap and does need government subsidies to operate, but it is sort of clean to run anyway. The only real problem is all the nuclear waste that stays around for a few thousand years, but all we need is one place to dump it and everything would be just fine.

MKG: Just one place to dump it all? Where would that be?

VP: Well, currently New Jersey looks good, but President Bush and I haven't ruled out the ocean yet. There's a whole lot of places to dump it out on the open sea. Ahoy mates! Ha ha!

MKG: One final question sir. You are on record as saying that with rising gasoline prices, nuclear power is the way to go. How do the two relate? Aren't they in fact two seperate resources used for two seperate reasons? Is this some sort of scam you're pulling?

VP: Whoops, look at the time, gotta go. See ya!