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Chasing Amy (1997)
Plot Summary for
Chasing Amy
Holden and Banky are best friends and authors of a popular comic book called "Bluntman and Chronic"
(based on Jay and Silent Bob of "Clerks" and "Mallrats" fame). Holden falls in love with Alyssa,
also a comic book artist, who happens to be a lesbian. Holden's new relationship with Alyssa strains
his life-long friendship with Banky, and soon the relationship between Holden and Alyssa hits a
wall due to Holden not being able to deal with her past.
Memorable Quotes from
Chasing Amy
>Banky<: Right here we have a four way street. In the middle is a fresh,
crisp, hundred dollar bill. On one side is a cute, lovable,
male-affectionate, non-political agenda lesbian. On the other side we
have angry, man-hating, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. On this corner we
have Santa Claus, and on this corner we have the Easter Bunny. Which
one will reach the hundred dollar bill first.
Holden: This is stupid.
>Banky<: No. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question.
C'mon. Which one will reach the hundred dollar bill first? The
male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter
bunny?
Holden: The man-hating dyke.
>Banky<: Good. Do you know why?
Holden: No, why?
>Banky<: Because the other three are figments of your fucking
imagination!
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>Banky<: All women really want is some serious deep-dickin'.
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Alyssa: I love you, but I'm not your whore.
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>Banky<: I feel a hate crime coming on.
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Holden: So what are you going to do?
>Banky<: Watch Degrassi Jr. High.
Holden: You got a thing for Canadian school girls.
>Banky<: I got a thing for girls that say "aboot."
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Silent Bob: Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about
squeeze into the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know that I always
wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?
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[Alyssa on the phone with Holden after she paged him.]
Alyssa Jones: One minute and five seconds; you are so my bitch.
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Holden: Even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that
I am forever changed because of who you are and what you meant to me.
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Alyssa: For you, fucking is you inside some girl you hardly know,
jackhammering away, not noticing that bored look in her eyes.
>Banky<: Hey, I always notice that bored look in their eyes.
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Holden McNeil: I love you, and not in a friendly way.
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>Banky< to Alyssa: So you like girls... does that mean you just look at
yourself naked in the mirror all day long?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alyssa: Are you an authorized deal maker in this establishment? Do
you have the power to negotiate?
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Cashier: You wanna haggle over the price of your French Dip?
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Jay: So why the long face, Horace? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh... just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Silent Bob: Bitch. With what you don't know about me, I could just
about fill the Grand Canyon.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Banky<: Archie is NOT fucking Mr. Weatherbee!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jay: Jedi bitch.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[On his lovemaking approach]
>Banky<: Like CNN and the Weather Channel: constant updates.
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[On his possible interest in homosexuality:]
Alyssa Jones: So, you've never been curious about men?
Holden McNeil: Well, I've always wondered why my father watched Hee
Haw.
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Alyssa Jones: Why are we stopping?
Holden McNeil: Because I can't take this.
Alyssa Jones: Can't take what?
Holden McNeil: I love you.
Alyssa Jones: You love me?
Holden McNeil: I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and that crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take it anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn't allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I'll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not dismiss that - at least for ten seconds - and try to dwell in it. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who's ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it's there between you and me. You can't deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.
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