Mommy Brain

   If you've left the crayons to melt in the car,
   And forgotten just where the car keys are,
   There's a perfectly good way to explain:
   You see, you've come down with "Mommy Brain."

   When you're not sure where the past 8 hours went,
   Or whether the phone bill check's been sent,
   If you've left the laundry drying in the rain,
   It's just---you guessed it---Mommy Brain.

   If you find yourself chatting for hours on end
   About diaper prices with your cyberfriends,
   You've just caught a particularly virulent strain
   Of that affliction known as Mommy Brain.

   If you left your bags at the grocery store
   Or completely forgot what you went there for,
   If you called the cat by your baby's name,
   You can bet that Mommy Brain's to blame.

   And if you know the words to "Goodnight Moon" by heart,
   Or you study your sleeping babe like a work of art,
   If you're always surprised by how time is flying,
   And the thought of that first birthday starts you crying...

   It's unavoidable girls, and I feel your pain,
   For I, too, suffer from Mommy Brain.
   But I'll admit one thing---of this I'm sure:
   I hope they never find a cure.

A Few Truths
A child will not spill on a dirty floor. 
A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
Familiarity breeds children. 
For adult education, nothing beats children.
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed 
	in your brain.
Having children will turn you into your parents. 
Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.
Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.
It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to 
	educate his father.
One child is often not enough, but two children can be 
	far too many.
The best thing to spend on your children is time.
Those who say they 'sleep like a baby' haven't got one.
You can learn many things from children...like how much 
	patience you thought you had.
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit 
	down and look comfortable.

How Motherhood Changed Me.........

1.Getting 8 hrs of sleep no longer exists.
2.Dosn't mind not getting 8 hrs of sleep.
3.Knows and sings in public the Barney song.
4.Thinks hot dogs and Mac. & Cheese counts as a
	 "good, balanced" dinner.
 5.Thinks puke isn't really so gross after all.
 6."Going Out" is getting to go grocery shopping by myself.
 7.Starts Christmas shopping in Oct. just to make sure that 
	I have EVERYTHING that my child asked for.
 8.Cries when they cry even over a favorite broken toy.
 9.Thinks driving a minivan is cool.
 10.Goes shopping for my birthday and coming home with 
	nothing for myself and something special for my
	kids instead.
 11. Says come here CuddleButt & my little WOO WOO & doesn't 
	even notice other people giving me strange looks.
 12.Trying to explain why I just couldn't get dinner made because 
	we just had to go to the park.
 13.Putting on a Scout Uniform and becoming a leader to 11 boys 
	because no one wanted the job and your son was soooo 
	proud.
 14.Dancing around the living room with the blinds open.
 15.Never knowing that you could have that many different collections.