Be warned, you are now entering a really bod joke area. If you want an example of how bad my taste is, my fave joke is actually a cartoon with Snoopy in a cowboy hat asking "If you threw a handful of marshmellows at a cactus, how many would stick?" That's it, nothing funny in the picture, but it cracks me up. I also totally crack up at mintie wrapper jokes. That's just so you know what kind of silly jokes to expect. If you have any of your own please send them to me. I'm always looking for more. Well here they are!

Words Of Wisdom

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my right hand.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals"
Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
If at first your don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

If you didn't like them, why not try some proper, story-like jokes. Just click on the page you want to read.

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 © 1997-2000 Lauren Ritchie.
This graphic set was made by me, and is not availiable for download.