Stardust- a mystical journey begins

Duck Hunter

A duck hunter is out one day having no luck. He hunts the whole morning and couldn't get a single kill. On the way home he comes up to a farm house and flying over the barnyard is a big flock of fat mallards. Seeing his last chance for success, he takes aim at what looked like the biggest duck in the flock and gave it both barrels. The duck fell from the sky and landed in the middle of a barnyard. As the hunter nears the barnyard and the dead duck, he sees he's got himself a beauty. But when he is a mere 20 paces from the duck, a farmer steps out of the barn, picks up the duck and heads for the house.

"Hey!" said the hunter, "Come back with my duck!" "Your duck?" says the farmer, "It was lying dead in my barnyard; it's MY duck." "No! No! You don't understand!, shouts the hunter, "I shot it and it just happened to fall here. It's mine!" "Okay, city fella. We'll settle this the country way," says the farmer. "Country way? What's that?" says the hunter. "We take turns hitting each other as hard as we can," says the farmer. "Last man standing wins the duck.... That is, unless you're Yella."

"Of course I'm not yellow," says the hunter. "Fine. Country way it is," says the farmer. "Since we're on my property, I'll go first." With that, the farmer takes a half step back, steadies himself, and kicks the hunter square in the groin as hard as he can. The hunter gasps, screams like an animal, falls on the ground, curls up in a knot, turns 3 shades of purple, and nearly dies. After a full half hour and with considerable difficulty, the hunter straightens up, gasps again, and in a high strained voice says, "Now... my... turn! The farmer reply: "Nah, I give up. Here's your duck."

Comma Baby

A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother... he's an idiot!" She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise." "Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?" "Denephew. "

Country Lane

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer,"When do you have time to plough your land? At night?" "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole"

Anagrams

An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. No letters can be used twice or left out. The following ones are exceptionally clever (someone out there either has *way* too much time on their hands or is deadly at Scrabble):

Word/ Phrase	Anagram
Dormitory	Dirty Room
Evangelist	Evil's Agent
Desperation	A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code	Here Comes Dot
Slot Machines	Cash Lost in 'em
Animosity	Is No Amity
Mother-in-Law	Women Hitler
Snooze Alarms	Alas, No More Z's
Alec Guinness	Genuine Class
Semolina	Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries	Large Picture Halls I Bet
A Decimal Point	I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes	That Queer Shake
Eleven plus Two	Twelve plus One
Contradiction	Accord Not In It

This one is *truly* amazing:
"To be or not to be: that is the question, whether its nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."
ANAGRAM:
"In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten."

And for a contemporary one:
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." (Neil Armstrong, on the moon)
ANAGRAM:
"A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!"

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The midi you are to listening to is a song by Enya.

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