Legolas can't believe Lobelia Sackville-Baggins got him again.

February 7, 2004

DOM-LAND, Middle Earth—The MEHA unveiled two new elements at the Merry-Go-Round...Rink...Thing Where a Penguin Plays a Banjo, a new hobbit expansion team and the mercy rule. The Dom-Land Caribou routed the yet to be named hobbit team 16-1, and the game was called midway through the second period.

"Well, it wasn't exactly, uh, competitive," said Legolas.

"Unless you count Lobelia (Sackville-Baggins) chasing Legolas around with her umbrella," added Merry.

Indeed, the 'Bou defence-elf may have experienced exhibition game Hermione Granger flashbacks during the match.

"I'm all bruised," he grumbled.

Apparently, the Shirefolk had not had the opportunity to read the MEHA manual, which covered things like rules. It turned out that nobody from the Shire even knew how to play hockey. They had been too busy trying to come up with a name for the team.

"We've been campaigning," explained Bilbo. "We haven't got the time yet for that other stuff." If you're wondering "Brandypucks" is currently in the lead. [Thank you R.E Catz for the name!]

The result was a large number of small people spilling willy-nilly onto the ice. Lobelia's umbrella was just one example of non-regulation equipment brought onto the ice by the Shirefolk.

"It was kind of cute, actually," said Boromir, "especially the snorkle." In fact, the larger members of the 'Bou didn't have the heart to score rampantly against such an...inexperienced team.

Gandalf for one, vehemently denies the rumor that he let the one goal in just so the hobbits wouldn't feel bad.

"It was a good goal," he said. "I got distracted there for a moment and they took advantage." And what exactly distracted the grey wizard? "A moth," he said, after thinking a bit.

The hobbits of the Caribou, however, had no problems scoring against their countrymen and women.

Pippin, who is still recovering from an intense icee headache, and Merry each potted hattricks.

"Woo-hoo!" said Merry, sporting a snazzy new fedora.

"Yip-ow," said Pippin.

Frodo and Sam scored two goals a piece. The rest of Caribou goals were either own-goals by the Shire team or pucks that bounced off Legolas after Lobelia knocked him over. Legolas got credit for those two goals. Gimli, Strider and Boromir were credited with the remaining four. Exactly who gets credit for what is still being sorted.

Officials called the game when the Caribou went ahead by 15 goals. The Shire team, however, was quite pleased to end the match early so that they could start on the enormous after-game party they had planned.

"They couldn't take one hour to read the manual," said MEHA commissioner Bubbles with a grimace, "but they spent four months planning a party."

And there was food and drink for all.

Next up for the 'Bou is are the Fighting Uruk-Hai and their new uniforms.

Notes: The MEHA championship trophy is currently named Orlando's Bloomers. This was voted on by the fans last season. However, it appears that one person voted more than 2,000 times. Therefore, the MEHA has decided to put the trophy name to a vote again. Please do not vote more than 50 times total. Thank you for supporting the Middle Earth Hockey Assocaition! This poll will conclude Feb. 14, midnight Bubbles Standard Time.

Bubbles would like to thank everyone who sent in pictures or links! So thank you thank you from the cavernous depths of my soul!

What Player from the Dom-Land Caribou Are You?
quiz by Shmadyle

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