Figwit heads for the net.

February 21, 2004

LOTHLORIEN, Middle Earth—Despite wearing the tackiest uniforms in the league, the Eldar outstyled the Dom-Land Caribou 2-0, handing the MEHA champions their first defeat of the season. Despite the loss, the 'Bou held the Eldar to their lowest goal total of the season.

"I like pastels," said team captain and goalie Galadriel. The Lady of Light apparently likes shutouts as well, posting her third shutout in four games.

"Elves have the best ice," she shrugged. "We have the best everything."

But the most notable event of the evening didn't take place on the ice. Midway through the first period, Caribou head coach Elrond burst into a fit of giggles and fled screaming into the dressing room. A team representative later revealed that Elrond had snapped from the pressure of coaching his son-in-law against his daughter, two sons and mother-in-law.

"We found him sprawled out next to the lockers," said Boromir. "He was banging his head a little against the lockers and humming showtunes."

"We have the greatest hope he will recover," said Aragorn who was checked closely all evening by Elladan and Elrohir. "I'd like for him to tell those to to cool it. They even followed me to the parking lot."

"Oh, they're just protective," said Arwen who centered the line between her brothers.

In Elrond's absence, Gandalf took over as temporary coach, yelling instructions from goal. Mostly at Legolas who seemed intent on killing his Elfhead bandmate Haldir. And the feeling appeared mutual. Each elf found himself frequently out of position in order to bash the other into the boards.

"There's no 'I' in team, Legolas," grumbled Gandalf mildly.

"But there is in Haldir," retorted Legolas.

In fact, the rivalry between the two elves became so heated, they ended up screaming Sindarin insults at each other through the penalty box divider. One respectable Lothlorien family is seriously reconsidering the location of their season ticket seats.

Amidst the mayhem, left-wing Figwit quietly scored two goals.

"He's our secret sniper," said Galadriel. "Well, maybe not so secret anymore."

"He just slipped past us when we were looking elsewhere," said Gandalf.

Figwit just smiled.

Next up for the 'Bou are the Rohan Riders and the mysterious Bearded Rohan Women.

(In case anyone is wondering, that is NOT a modifed Mighty Ducks uniform.)

Notes: The MEHA championship trophy has been renamed "The Precious," which won the fan poll with 158 votes. "Trophy...Cup...Thing" was a bridesmaid yet again with 142 votes. "I'm just glad it's not plural anymore," said MEHA commissioner Bubbles. "I kind of liked 'Lordship and Dominion over Middle-Earth,'" said Merry. Thank you to everyone who voted! (Bubbles would post the results of the poll, but she can't figure out how to make Bravenet do it. She is sorry.)

Bubbles would like to thank everyone who sent in pictures or links! So thank you thank you from the cavernous depths of my soul!

What Player from the Dom-Land Caribou Are You?
quiz by Shmadyle

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