Boromir turns on the jets.

April 17, 2004

ISENGARD and ITHILIEN, Middle Earth— A tisket, a tasket, put the biscuit in the basket. That's just what the Dom-Land Caribou did against the Fighting Uruk-Hai, in a tidy 3-1 victory.

"Splendid!" said Gandalf, who made 27 saves in the win. "Just splendid."

Aragorn got the party started with a power play goal in the first period. Sam carried the puck into the offensive zone and showed amazing patience, waiting for the right opportunity. He got it as Aragorn broke free from the Uruk-Hai defender. Sam launched a slapshot from the point, and Aragorn tipped in the rebound. The Uruk-Hai goalie smacked the King of Gondor and Arnor in the shins in response.

"That really smarts," said his majesty, "but hope will prevail."

"Mr. Strider sure is smart," said Sam. "He knew just where to be. For the goal, I mean. It's mighty hard, if you take my meaning, what happened to his legs and all."

In fact the Aragorn-Sam-Frodo line gave the Uruk-Hai fits all evening getting quality scoring chances and even ringing a few pucks off the goalposts despite bruised shins.

"I hate that clank," said Frodo who scored twice in the second period. The 'Bou nearly had a hattrick twice, but hit the posts. Sam ended with three assists.

"GRAAAHHHH!" said Uruk-Hai captain Lurtz who scored the only goal for the Uruks, at the post-game press conference. "GRR. HRR HRR."

Unfortunately, Aragorn's shins swelled up quite a bit on the bus trip to Ithilien for the back end of the doubleheader. The Caribou centre gritted his teeth through the pain and borrowed Gimli's spare shinpads.

"The laddie had a tender tibia there," said the son of Gloin. "But it could be worse. Could be medial tibial stress syndrome."

With the last of the son of Arathorn at less than 100 percent, the other Caribou had to play a little harder and ground out a 2-2 tie with the Ithilien Rangers.

As usual, the sons of Denethor featured prominently in the match each tallying a goal and assist. Although there were a few tense moments, such as Boromir shoving his younger sibling into the Ranger goalie, and Faramir dumping his elder sibling into the Ranger bench, the brothers eschewed the Gordie Howe hattrick.

"Nah," said Boromir, "his wife would kill me."

"Again," added Faramir.

"She likes me!" said Merry.

"Lizard King," coughed Boromir.

Lizard King or no, Merry scored the other goal for the Caribou off tape-to-tape passes from Gimli and Boromir.

"We're definitely improving our puck control," said Legolas. "Elrond's been getting all up in our Kool-Aid* about that."

Pippin got quite excited about the mention of "Kool-Aid." The Caribou stopped off to buy Kool-Aid on the bus ride home. Pippin ate it all before they could add water.

"Look," he said, "my tongue is all blue!"

The 'Bou head back to the Merry-Go-Round...Rink...Thing Where a Penguin Plays a Banjo to face the still unnamed Hobbit team.

*This glowing phrase comes from an old Fandom_Wank thread.

Notes: We have new stuff in Fanstuff!

What Player from the Dom-Land Caribou Are You?
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