Frodo's pugilistic heroics last week ended in suspension.

June 12, 2004

DOM-LAND, Middle Earth— Due to last week's fracas, half the Caribou offence has been suspended. Sam, Frodo and Aragorn were forced to sit for a mandatory two games for leaving the bench. The Uruk-Hai who left their bench were also confined to street clothes for two games. Head coach Elrond was suspended one game for leaving the bench, as was Uruk-Hai head coach Saruman.

"He was what?" said Gandalf before exploding with giggles. The Grey Pilgrim was unavailable for comment for the remainder of the afternoon.

Considering the Caribou were scheduled to play the Eldar at home, Elrond's absence would not have raised any eyebrows. However, with only five skaters and a goalie, the Caribou held a players-only meeting to decide whether or not they would face the undefeated elves.

The answer, surprisingly, was no, and the Caribou forfieted their last regular season meeting against the Eldar.

"Gutless," said Haldir, "absolutely gutless."

"He's just cranky because he got bus-bench hair," said Legolas.

No reasons were given as to how the reigning MEHA champions came to this decision. Rumors flew of unreported injuries, diva tantrums and broken Icee machines.

However, this may have been pure strategy on the Caribou's part. They have already secured a playoff spot, as have the Eldar. The 'Bou's next opponent is the still-not-with-the-program Hobbit team, whom no one expects to be very competitive. By forfieting the game against the Eldar, the Caribou have two relatively trouble-free weeks.

The team adamantly denies this.

"Don't you dare insiuate that hobbits can't bring it!" said Frodo in a combative tone of voice. "You want some of this? Come on. Let's go!" The former ringbearer appeared to be still quite...enthusiastic from last week's fight night.

The press-conference came to an abrupt end while Frodo was taken to the green room by the other hobbits for some "calm down" snacks. Gandalf could still be heard giggling somewhere in the corridors as the four halflings exited the room.

Next week, the depleted Caribou face the Shire team, who consider this their best opportunity to lose by less than 15 goals.

NOTES: For some reason, it's been rather difficult for Bubbles to update on Fridays, so from now on, DL updates will take place on Saturdays, Bubbles' Standard Time, which is Sunday for most of the rest of the world. Sorry about that.

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