Merry gets serious.

July 25, 2004

DOM-LAND, Middle Earth—After their slow start in game one, the Dom-Land Caribou shook off their languor to defeat the Fighting Uruk-Hai 2-0, largely due to a very focused Sam.

"Yipp-ow," said Pippin who was still suffering slightly from an Icee hangover.

"Delightful," said Gandalf, who made 27 saves in the shutout.

Perhaps the Uruks felt a little overconfident after their game one win. In a pre-game meeting, the Caribou resolved to play hard and stay focused.

"Play hard and stay focused," said Sam, "play hard and stay focused."

"He was muttering it all through the game," said Frodo. "I guess it worked."

Indeed the Mayor of Hobbiton had an amazing game, skating with controlled intensity and fierce determination. It paid off midway through the first period when he blasted through the neutral zone toward the Uruk-Hai goalie. Legolas launched a smooth pass to the charging hobbit who rocketed the puck right under the crossbar.

"Like a little steam roller, he was," said Merry. "And what a pass!"

"Yes, that elf's got soft hands," said Boromir.

"What?" said Gimli.

"It's a real hockey term," said Boromir.

"You're kidding," said Gimli.

"GRRRRRRR!" said the Uruk goalie. "UGURRRR! FGRRRRR!"

The Uruk-Hai hunkered down and agressively attacked the 'Bou defence, plowing their way toward Gandalf. The forwards jumped up to help slow down the assault.

"We hoped we could keep them wide* of Gandalf," said Aragorn. "And it worked." The king of Gondor and Arnor had bags of ice plastic wrapped to his shins to ease some discomfort from the shin injuries dealt him by the Uruk-Hai during the regular season. "It doesn't hurt that bad. But if I fall asleep, I end up in a big puddle."

Aragorn assisted on Sam's second goal in the third period.

"Sam was really playing hard and staying focused," said Merry who declined to dance for the post-game press conference.

"Play hard and stay focused," Sam said.

The series is tied 1-1.

In other news, the Eldar beat the Ithilien Rangers once again. Ranger captain Faramir had been called home due to an unexpected visit from his father. The score was 6-1.

*I'll put this in hockeyspeak sometime, I hope. "Keeping your opponent wide" means moving them to the left and right of your goalie. The prime scoring area is directly in front of the goal. The farther left and right a player is from the goal, the harder it is to score.

Playoff Primer

1) Each round is a seven-game series. Basically, two teams play each other until one team wins four games. That team wins the series.

2) There are no ties. If a match is tied at the end of three periods, the teams will play 20-minute overtimes until one of them wins or they both drop dead. In the case of dropping dead, all members of both teams have to be completely dead. The game will then be temporarily postponed.

3) The teams who have qualified for this year's playoffs are:
The Dom-Land Caribou
The Fighting Uruk-Hai
The Ithilien Rangers
The Eldar
Whoever wins the Caribou/Uruk-Hai series will go on to play the winner of the Rangers/Eldar series for The Precious.

4) Although there are traditions of throwing things onto the ice in the NHL during the playoffs, (i.e. the octopus in Detroit) the MEHA has strictly forbidden the throwing of cephalopods. This measure was taken to prevent the injury and/or death of anyone trying to capture The Watcher in the Water.

NOTES: For some reason, it's been rather difficult for Bubbles to update on Fridays, so from now on, DL updates will take place on Saturdays, Bubbles' Standard Time, which is Sunday for most of the rest of the world. Sorry about that.

What Player from the Dom-Land Caribou Are You?
quiz by Shmadyle

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