Aragorn and Arwen aren't really paying attention.

August 29, 2004

LOTHLORIEN, Middle Earth—Although the crowd refrained from psychological warfare, the Caribou couldn't pull it together for a solid 60 minutes, losing to the Eldar 2-1.

"At least they weren't chanting...well, you know," said Pippin at the post-game press conference.

Indeed, the MEHA issued a stern reprimand to Eldar captain Galadriel for using her mind-reading powers and warned the Lothlorien crowd that any excessive taunting would result in the a penalty to the home team. The league didn't want a repeat of last week's game,

"So do they have some kind of 'taunt-o-meter' or something?" said Haldir.

"They should," said Sam.

Caribou head coach Elrond opted to stay in the team bus again, this time with the Andrew Lloyd Webber birthday concert video. Passers by were amazed to hear the Master of Rivendell hit that B-flat with Michael Ball at the end of "Love Changes Everything." Elrond has yet to face his mother-in-law for an entire game.

The Eldar still have not decided on official team colors, and this week, Arwen got to pick from the wide aray of uniforms made by the elves, which led to some amount of bickering on the team.

"I really hate the pink uniform," said Haldir. "I really do."

"At least she didn't steal your equipment," said Glorfindel.

"Did not," said Arwen.

"Did too," said Glorfindel.

"Did you write your name on it?" said Arwen.

"Yeah," said Glorfindel.

"Oh, shut up," said Legolas. "Nobody cares anymore."

At first the crowd didn't take the threat of home-team penalization seriously, laying into Legolas with particular relish.

"You actually get numb after a while," he said.

The Mirkwood prince didn't have to maintain his state of numb for long as officials made good on the league threat and packed Orophin off to the penalty box.

The Caribou tried to take advantage of their opponents in-house strife and penalties, scoring a quick goal in the first period. Boromir won a face-off against Haldir and knocked the puck back to Legolas who feathered a beautiful pass to Merry. The hobbit took a quick shot on Galadriel who blocked it but gave up a huge rebound. Gimli swooped in and banged it home. The 'Bou bench erupted.

"It's always great to get that first goal," said Aragorn. "It gives you hope."

"I never quite know how to feel about that," the defence-dwarf said about scoring on the Lady of Light. Rumor has it that Gimli has a pinup of Galadriel in his locker.

"No comment," he said.

The early goal gave the 'Bou a much-needed boost after the demoralizing outing last week. They skated hard, made crisp passes and dominated play through the second period. Frodo, in a burst of aggression, knocked Rumil into the Eldar bench.

"That was beautiful," said Legolas.

"No comment," said Rumil.

But as well as the Caribou played, Galadriel played better, stopping every shot after letting in that first goal.

"I was in the zone," she said, jiggling her head like Patrick Roy.

Indeed the Eldar captain practically stood on her head to keep her team in it. Apparently, she read them the riot act in the second intermission. And the elves came out swinging.

"I didn't know them elves could be so rough," said Sam who got a bit bruised when Celeborn sent him headfirst into Gandalf's net. The Eldar made a few successful charges, and in a span of three minutes, tied and then went ahead in the game.

"We just couldn't hold them off," said Boromir.

"We should have done better," said Gandalf who made 26 saves in the loss.

The series continues next week in Dom-Land where the Caribou need to pick up their play. The current MEHA champions are down 2-0 in the series.

Sorry this was so late. Here's a funny personal ad.

**Note: Due to family circumstances the Dom-Land Caribou updates will be a little...wonky. They may be early or more likely late, but probably no later than Mondays, Bubbles Standard Time. Also, Bubbles will probably not be able to respond to email unless you have a specific question or correction. Sorry about that.

Hey, Caribou fans. Thanks for voting in the poll. Thanks to the 100% "yes" vote, there will be one more season of Dom-Land Caribou. Whee!

***It has come to our attention that some people have been listing the Dom-Land Caribou as their own personal websites. We would appreciate it if you didn't. Thank you.***

Playoff Primer

1) Each round is a seven-game series. Basically, two teams play each other until one team wins four games. That team wins the series.

2) There are no ties. If a match is tied at the end of three periods, the teams will play 20-minute overtimes until one of them wins or they both drop dead. In the case of dropping dead, all members of both teams have to be completely dead. The game will then be temporarily postponed.

3) The teams who have qualified for this year's playoffs are:
The Dom-Land Caribou
The Fighting Uruk-Hai
The Ithilien Rangers
The Eldar
Whoever wins the Caribou/Uruk-Hai series will go on to play the winner of the Rangers/Eldar series for The Precious.

4) Although there are traditions of throwing things onto the ice in the NHL during the playoffs, (i.e. the octopus in Detroit) the MEHA has strictly forbidden the throwing of cephalopods. This measure was taken to prevent the injury and/or death of anyone trying to capture The Watcher in the Water.

What Player from the Dom-Land Caribou Are You?
quiz by Shmadyle

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