Dumbledore defends net #2.

Nov.14, 2004 (for a quidditch primer, click here. For a brush-up on the rules of this exhibition game, click here.)

LOTHLORIEN, Middle-Earth—It started out so horribly, but ended up less so. In the annual mayhem that is the MEHA Exhibition Game, the MEHA All-Stars and the Witches 'n' Wizards skated to a 148-148 tie.

"And you know what," said Boromir, "we're happy with that."

"Yeah," said fellow All-Star Eomer. "We're lucky to finish these games without serious damage."

Some people don't consider one player death, one player transfiguration, a gaping hole in the ceiling and some severely injured wargs, "serious damage."

Even before the game started, the two teams had some bizarre run-ins. Apparently someone replaced the wolvesbane potion with gatorade, and Remus Lupin had an "incident" as the sun went down and the moon came up. The former Hogwarts Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher took out a "small number" of wargs in the parking lot. The situation escalated when the rest of the wargs showed up, and Sirius Black decided to defend his friend. The Middle Earth Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animal-Things (MESPCAT) was called in to diffuse the situation with catchpoles and tranquilizers.

"Whose idea was it to make this a night game?" asked an exasperated Hermione Granger.

The MESPCAT veterinary staff says the wargs should be fine in a week or two, and that the seadatives administered to the two wizards will make them relaxed and a little goofy. Lupin and Black have been confined to Bubbles' camper-trailer with a box of dog biscuits and All Dogs Go to Heaven on video. The MESPCAT didn't feel confining the two wizards in the same building with the wargs was a good idea.

"Bubbles has humane society experience," said Pippin, who during the course of the evening became a staunch supporter of animal rights. "That's why she volunteered."

"Yeah, right," said Legolas, who knows more than he would like about fangirls.*

Somewhere, Severus Snape is laughing very hard.

The two teams couldn't even get through the opening introductions without a catastrophe. In an ill-fated decision, the MEHA paired Merry and Lee Jordan on the public address system to announce the players, goals and penalties for both teams. Merry managed to be relieved from duty faster than Jordan by screaming "screw you, hippie!" into the microphone when Jordan introduced Hogwarts Head Master Albus Dumbledore as starting goalie.

If that wasn't bad enough, Ringwraith #4 made a hasty exit, as he was expecto patronum-ed through the ceiling by Dumbledore's Army.

"We should've seen that one coming," said Bubbles.

Ringwraith #4 was replaced by Figwit, but not before some major temper tantrums. Galadriel complained about her ceiling, the other MEHA players complained about the Wizarding team's "extra equipment," and the Ringwraiths quietly grumbled about their teammate getting blasted into space "just because some kid has daddy issues."

And a fight erupted on the ice. In the ensuing confusion, Hogwarts Professor McGonagall transfigured Pippin into a penguin. Hagrid reportedly tried to collect the hobbit/penguin for his menagerie. Pippin panicked and tried to flee, but ended up waddling in circles making terrified squeaky noises.

Everyone else went "awwwwwwww!" So after a good chuckle all-around, (Merry laughed so hard he nearly threw up) Pippin was transfigured back and the game finally began.

Harry Potter served as Seeker again for his team, but the MEHA All-Stars chose Eowyn this time.

"She stacked the vote," said a slightly pouty Arwen. "She got all her relatives to vote for her."

"Go cry about nepotism to your grandma," said the Shieldmaiden of Rohan.

Galadriel, not bothering to defend her grandchild, stayed in goals the entire game, while the Wizards elected to replace Dumbledore halfway in the game with Ron Weasley. The little frictions on the MEHA side opened the door for the determined Witches 'n' Wizards.They demonstrated a huge improvement from last year, playing with discipline and focus.

"We weren't going to be embarassed again," said a fired-up Hermione who again led the scoring with 8 goals and 12 assists. Indeed the entire team played hard and really took it to the All-Stars who found themselves behind 47-28 in the first period.

But even with the intense concentration on the part of the Wizarding team, the MEHA had their own weapons, namely beefcake. The line of Figwit-Boromir-Faramir distracted not a few witches (and wizards) as did the defence pairing of Legolas and Haldir, who somehow managed not to physically assault each other. Hermione, however, refrained from unnecessarily crashing into either fair-haired elf. She did, however, knock Lurtz off his feet at key moments. The All-Stars managed to get back in it and close the lead to 87-78 by the second period.

Unfortunately for the Wizarding team, Ron had developed a certain fascination with Eowyn and strayed from his goals whenever she hit the ice, which resulted in a few "soft" goals, and around 87 points.

"She handed you your butt on a plate, Ronald," said a disgruntled Hermione.

"Yeah," said a distracted Ron.

"Aren't you lot supposed to get indignant or something?" demanded Eowyn of her husband, brother and brother-in-law.

Her male relations just laughed.

"At least I didn't have that little blonde kid and his posse following me around," said Eowyn pointedly at Arwen.

"Shut up," said Arwen, who managed to score 6 times all whilst avoiding Draco Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle.

Dumbledore made 37 saves while Ron made 34. Galadriel ended the evening with 76 saves. The Lady of Light was a little grouchy that for the first time, she had not won a game.

"Well, it's not an important game anyway," she said. "More like a scrimmage, really."

"You keep telling yourself that, Lady," said Fred and George Weasley.

And much was forgiven at the after-game party, which was organized by hobbits.

Bubbles however, left early. She had a large group of friends coming 'round to the trailer for a visit.

Somewhere, Severus Snape is laughing very hard.

*Yes, Bubbles is a Remus and Sirius fangirl, although not a shipper.

Okay, so I'm not really up on anything past book three. Azkaban was my favorite book, and neither Goblet or Order really got my attention.

We are very sad to say that Bubbles' mom has passed away. Bubbles wants to thank all the readers who sent her supportive (and often quite funny) emails and to apologize for not responding to any of them. Bubbles' mom was quite tickled that people from all over the world came to read Dom-Land Caribou stories and see their pictures. She gave us the wonderful word "Fodo," the idea to sacrifice Pippin to the Cave Troll and the burning question, "if he [Legolas] is so good, why don't they send more of him?" She also scolded Boromir at one point, "No! Don't give it back to Fodo! He keeps dropping it!" We will miss her very much.

***It has come to our attention that some people have been listing the Dom-Land Caribou as their own personal websites. We would appreciate it if you didn't. Thank you.***

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