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July 1st, 2000
Had a hell of a time sleeping last night. Too much on my mind. I'm still extremely upset at my parents. I haven't talked to them yet. Dawn wrote a letter to her mom and I am working on one for mine. I think we'll send them both together. So wonderful to know we still have so many people whose skin we can get under. I just expected so much more than lies and bigotry from my parents. I mean they've always preached to me about the importance of honesty, and I'd always thought that we should hate anyone just because they are different. I'm sooooo confused. Why is it such a Taboo? Who I've choosen to spend my life with. What in GODs name is the Big Deal???? I don't know of very many couples who are as happy as I am. So why is everyone so concerned? You know it occured to me recently that my mother has been asking me about my self esteem and stuff alot lately as though there is a problem. Does she think that I am in this relationship because I can't find a man or what? That was never a problem and I happen to feel better about myself since I've been with Dawn than I ever did in any of my past relationships....especially my husband. That was always a mistake and I should have known that. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy, but just not the one for me. This is not going to be a bitch session about him. He's besides the point. My point is I have been with Dawn 3 years in September. My relationship with her has just been completly trivialized. I have asked my mom for money once because Dawn broke her foot and was out of work for a while, so we never could get completely caught up on the bills. I juggled them all I could, but there was nothing we could do to get out of the hole. So mom and dad came to the rescue. Other than that they send me a little money here and there of their own volition. It becomes play money for us. Dawn has been paying for almost everything since we've been together. We don't get public assistance, I am not working, so she pays it all. We have everything we could possibly want or need. I have always had a roof over my head, food in my tummy, nice clothes to wear, etc. We have a computer and game machines, books to read, movies to watch, CDs to listen to. Everything we need really. I can go to the bar once or twice a week and it not kill us. I mean this year we went to Washington DC in a rental car, celebrated my birthday at Bar1 and at Silver Dollar City in Branson all weekend. We also bought season passes while we were there, and for our anniversary in September we are planning on doing something nice as well. I mean we aren't rich or nothin, but we get by. I think I amn pretty well taken care of. So to get back on track here. What is the problem that everyone is having with our relationship. Why is it if I get married to a man they are on the phone in minutes telling the whole family, but this relationship is something I should keep in the closet where it belongs. NO WAY. It's not gonna happen. I am not going to live my life in the dark and I'll be damned if anyones gonna make me. I think I have the right to share my happiness to anyone I choose. Don't you? Well that's it for now. I gotta get ready to go out. I need to get out of the house for a while. Thanks teddibear for inviting me over for dinner. You are a real good guy and I am glad I met you. See you all soon. A
July 2nd, 2000
Mike it was very nice to meet you last night. I am looking forward to going to Marthas Monday. This should be fun. Had a great time dancing and such at Bar1 as always. It was so nice to see so many of you from gay.com this weekend. Hope to see more of you there on Friday the 7th. PARTEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! LOL I'm ready. Are you? Well in case you come in here and see this page, this is to the guy I met at Bar1 and talked about computers with. I can't find your business card so I don't have your email addy or phone or nothin. If you find me in chat or read this, look me up, email me, something, LOL, so we can continue this conversation. If nothing else I should see you at the Gay.com get together. K Thats it for today. Bye Angel
July 3rd, 2000
Still not talking to the folks. Quite a few people seem to think that it is unimportant to be pushing this issue with the family. I love my family, but I don't agree that you can just aquire RESPECT as a birthright. RESPECT is something you earn. The reason that gays are not accepted is because nobody gives anyone a chance to explain thamselves. By hiding who you are you are giving people the reason to think that you are hiding something, or what you are doing is wrong. Do you believe your lifestyle is wrong? I don't. I don't see whats wrong with loving whoever I damned well please. The world is just so unfair sometimes. Anyway, Dave it was nice to talk to you today on ICQ. I put your link up. Hope you get a chance to check this all out....LOL. It can be somewhat overwhelming to people at times. I don't get nearly as many visitors here as I do on the main page. Well I better get ready to go out. Going to Martha's Vineyard tonight. I really miss Bette Davis. She was the first Drag Queen I met in this town. Well in loving memory of her I may make a page in dedication. If anyone has any photos of her they would like to share with me let me know. OK gotta go before I get all mushy and stuff. Later All A
Don't FORGET Gay.com get together at BAR 1 Friday July 7th, 2000 whenever you all get there...LOL
Also, Ms Rachel is preforming THE EDGE on Saturday July 8th, 2000 @ 10:30 cover is $3 we think??? LOL |
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