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"Gooday, I'm Barry Leakie, retired politician. Before I left office I socked away a whole swag of confidential reports and secret government documents. Enough to keep me on easy street for quite a while, and each week I'll be releasing one of these documents on my show.
"Just a couple of examples: There's this report from the CSIRO. They spent $36 million investigating the use of sheep droppings as an import replacement for olives. Something smelly about that, I think you'll agree. And this one; a report from a back bench MP. He took a trip to the South of France to investigate buttocks. We'll be looking into that quite closely.
"Also on my show you'll see the odd government minister having a leak, and I'll keep you abreast of all the news from Canberra and the electorate.
"So join me here for 'LEAKIE REPORTS' on insert- the-name-of-your-channel-here.
"Remember: When it's Leakie on the job you're in trouble!"
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