It appears that X-Men writer Grant Morrison is taking a page out of Ultimate writer Mark Millar's book. Sam "Cannonball" Guthrie and Paige "Husk" Guthrie are about to be involved in a new relationship coming this November when they join the X-Men line-up... and the relationship will be with each other!

"Hey, if Quicksilver and Scarlett Witch can do the nasty together in Millar's book," Morrison said, "then why the hell wouldn't these two be going at it?"

"It just makes sense," Morrison added. "After all, they're cornbread, white trash from Kentucky, one of the most incestuous states in the union. They had nothing better to do out in the cornfields during the winter. They're young hotties. They should be jumping each other's bones constantly!"

Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada loves the idea.

"It's fresh, it's original, it fits right in with the whole Backstreet Boys do Britney Spears kinda thing. Only instead, it's a couple of hayseeds. We all know those Southern people are incestuous."

Alongside of the new romance comes more startling news as Quesada continues to bring in new talent. Marvel has tendered an offer to Derek Jeter to replace Fabian Nicezia on "Thunderbolts" starting in January of 2002.

"Jeter is a household name," Quesada said. "Who the hell is this Nicezia guy anyway. Cabana Claremont keeps telling me he wrote the X-Men once upon a time, but I don't believe him. Speaking of Claremont, I need another mai tai..."

Despite the fact that Jeter has never written a memo, let alone a comic book, in his life, does not faze Quesada in the least.

"Hey, he's Derek-freakin-Jeter, guys. The man has four World Series rings! I'm certain he can handle writing such a crappy, no-profile book like Thunderbolts. Hell, if that Nicezia guy can do it, I'm certain Jeter can do it with his baseball glove on!"

Finally, another new book is in the works. Slated for a premier in October 2001 is the new ongoing series featuring Artie and Leech. It will be drawn by new artist Matt Groening (who replaced Alex Ross on Universe X) and written by "Cabana Boy" Claremont!

"Claremont was getting kinda pissy just handing out towels and making mai tais," Quesada said. "I figured I need to punish... I mean reward his persistence with the new Artie and Leech series."

Slated to make a guest appearance in issues 1-289 will be none other then Wolverine!

"Of course Wolverine's in it!" Quesada said. "He has a long history with Artie and Leech, and needs to appear with them."

"Shoulda read the damn fine print," Claremont muttered when asked to comment. "Sold my soul over to freakin' Marvel for a no good lousy ...mumble mumble mumble... Joe Pigsada can kiss my rosy red ...mumble mumble mumble... damn freakin' mai tai sucking... Artie and Leech... grrrrrrr..."

"Needless to say, Claremont is thrilled!" Quesada closed.

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