Hola. I'm Dr Cecilia Reyes and I'm here to tell you about a dangerous, new disease that seems to be going around this site. I recommended they shut it down and put all the visitors in quarantine, but they couldn't hear me above the wild chanting. It's called Gambititis, and it's characterised by certain, irrational patterns of behaviour. If you are showing any of the following symptoms, please check yourself into the mobile, treatment station that I've set up here:

• You have ever called somebody "cher(e)" or "mon ami(e)" and you're not French!
  
  
• You think that black, electric blue and fuschia are a fashion statement
  
  
• Your gloves have fingers chopped off of them
  
  
• You own a trenchcoat and wear it in all temperatures
  
  
• If you're a woman, you have tried to convince your significant other to wear red-on-black contact lenses
  
  
• If you're a man, you have worn red-on-black contact lenses
  
  
• You have left doors open at night in the hopes of attracting thieves
  
  
• Card games become violent when you are a player
  
  
• Every time you get the Queen of Hearts in a card game, you recite the scene from Uncanny X-Men #350
  
  
• . . . With accents
  
  
• . . . With costumes
  
  
• . . . With hand-puppets
  
  
• You have tried to use your "charm" to get out of doing homework or a project for work
  
  
• . . . And your teacher or boss ended up being hypnotised
  
  
• You confined your Rogue action figure to the freezer after UXM #350 and said "see how you like it!"
  
  
• . . . then felt sorry for her, and enacted a touching reunion between her and your Gambit action figure
  
  
• . . . which you wrote down and published as a fanfiction on the Internet
  
  
• . . . and you got more than ten reviews for it
  
  
• If you're a student, you did a chemistry assignment on how Gambit's powers work
  
  
• . . . And it got an A!
  
  
• . . . And you want to transfer to Xavier's school on the strength of that A
  
  
• You have a picture of Gambit in your wallet
  
  
• You have Gambit on your desktop
  
  
• . . . And on your screensaver
  
  
• . . . And on your mousepad too
  
  
• . . . And on every, skinnable application
  
  
• The Gambit Guild is your start-up page
  
  
• You have a Gambit website of your own
  
  
• You have a theory about Gambit
  
  
• . . . And you have shared that theory on the Internet
  
  
• . . . And it spiralled into an enormous thread
  
  
• Your e-mail addy or screenname has the word Gambit in it somewhere
  
  
• Your cupboard has been converted into a shrine to Gambit
  
  
• You spend more on Gambit comics, novels and merchandise than on food
  
  
• You have bought the X-Men bedlinen, even though it is for kids
  
  
• . . . So you can say you "sleep with" Gambit.
  
  
• You study French at school so you can speak to Gambit if you ever meet him
  
  
• . . . and are disappointed when it isn't Cajun French
  
  
• . . . then you lobby for Cajun French to be taught at your school
  
  
• . . . and your campaign succeeded
  
  
• You refer to the X-Men as "Gambit's team"
  
  
• . . . you're surprised to hear there are other X-Men.
  
  
• If Gambit isn't in an issue, you write a letter of protest to Marvel
  
  
• . . . and it has expletives in it
  
  
• You were part of the Mark Millar Candy Campaign!
  
  
• You know how to draw Gambit off by heart
  
  
• . . . and it looks as good as anything Larroca draws
  
  
• . . . and you can't draw anything else at all
  
  
• You look for the local Thieves' Guild to join it
  
  
• . . . please, you're a member already!
  
  
• You have pets named after Gambit
  
  
• All your creative writing assignments just happen to feature a man by the name of Remy who just happens to be a thief from New Orleans
  
  
• . . . and they are never less than thirty pages of single-spaced, 10pt Arial
  
  
• . . . and they have beautiful illustrations!
  
  
• . . . and you get F's for them, but are just upset that your teacher didn't adore Gambit from the second paragraph
  
  
• All your walls are covered with posters or pictures of Gambit
  
  
• . . .Most of them are inkjet copies from the Internet, but you don't care about the poor quality.
  
  
• You blank out the other X-Men's text-bubbles with tippex, and replace them with "oh, Gambit, you're so manly"
  
  
• You get asked on a date, and don't go because it would be cheating on Gambit
  
  
• You cover any piece of paper available with various combinations of your name and Gambit's, so you can see what it will look like when you get married
  
  
• You have a tattoo that is Gambit-related
  
  
• You hurt someone for being rude about Gambit
  
  
• You write self-insertion stories where you become a new member of the team and Remy falls in love with you
  
  
• You read this kind of list. ;)
  
  
• You make this kind of list ;)
  
  

Matt Murdock Statement: The Gambit Guild is not an official fansite, and, as such, is not endorsed by Marvel. Nonetheless, we do acknowledge our debt to them for creating such a wonderful character and would not dream of making any profit from him other than the enrichment of our imaginations. All textual content on the site is, however, property of the Gambit Guild. If you wish to use it on your own site, please ask. We'll only be to happy to help.