Congratulations on admitting your problem. That is always the first step to overcoming it. . . What? You came here because you thought they were giving away free Gambit pencils? . . . No, you can't leave! You clearly have a problem if you're so desperate to get a cheap pencil! . . . Anyway, at this centre, we use a three-step program to cure your Gambititis. That is, we get you to see the root of the problem, then reprogram your mind using both conscious and subliminal techniques. So, if you're ready, let's get cracking!

STEP ONE: IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM

Look at these completely neutral and abstract inkblots and tell me what you see . . .

Hmm . . . It appears we might have a problem. We should move straight onto treatment.

As the words scroll past, I would like you to repeat them ten times. This should reprogram your unconscious mind, or prepare you for a career as an umpire:

Gambit? Who is Gambit? Isn't he that character who should have died in Antarctica? Isn't he the one with the stupid accent? Doesn't he have bad hair and a worse complexion? Besides, I only like Wolverine, bub!

Um, that didn't seem to work. It's time to move onto the final stage that has never failed to work for anybody else!

STEP THREE: FIND ALTERNATIVES

One of the best ways to overcome Gambititis is to realise that Gambit is not unique. There are other, real people, who are either as attractive, as charming or as athletic. In the case of female sufferers, it particularly helps to realise that there are real men to whom they can transfer their crush. Compare Gambit with these undoctored pictures of Heath Ledger, Keanu Reeves and Orlando Bloom.

What? That didn't work? You're a hopeless case! I recommend you check yourself into the nearest mental asylum OR join the Gambit Guild to be with likeminded lunatics. ;)

Matt Murdock Statement: The Gambit Guild is not an official fansite, and, as such, is not endorsed by Marvel. Nonetheless, we do acknowledge our debt to them for creating such a wonderful character and would not dream of making any profit from him other than the enrichment of our imaginations. All textual content on the site is, however, property of the Gambit Guild. If you wish to use it on your own site, please ask. We'll only be to happy to help.