Gull's a Peer

By Lot Ramirez, based on Barrett's Privateers

Oh, the year was A.S. 37
How I wish it was old Caid now
A peerage of note came from the king
To the scummiest Pelican I've ever seen.

(Chorus)
God Damn them all, I was told
He'd stick to the field like in days of old
He'd sing some songs, drink some beers
Now I'm a broken Pelican who's livin' in fear
We never should of made Gull a peer.

When Gulliver came to the Pelican moot
How I wish it was old Caid now
He brought along with him his salsa and chips
And, in one fell swoop, burned off all our lips.

(Chorus)

When Gull came in he took control
How I wish it was old Caid now
He voted in his friends in a matter of days
And they moved all the meetings down to B.J.'s

(Chorus)

He roused all the fighters to enforce his way
How I wish it was old Caid now
And when we argued with him, he threatened our lives
And the entire Caidan Army pulled out swords and knives

(Chorus)

The meeting turned to chaos and the riot did start
How I wish it was old Caid now
The fighters were cruel and the treated us mean
Someone broke both my legs as they ruptured my spleen

(Chorus)

(Angelically)
Now here I lay in my 98th year
How I wish it was old Caid now
And it's been 31 years since that man was made
And I just can't recall what we were smokin' that day

(Chorus)