A Lover, Not a Fighter

words and music by Magdalene van den Velde

In the days of brilliant swordplay, in a fine Italian town
There dwelt a professore of great skill and high renown
His arm dealt with scholastic grace 'gainst students far and wide
But his sword was ever quiet in the scabbard by is side.

Oh, his raven locks 'drift on the wind, his brow both broad and high
His fine moustaches curled just so made all the ladies sigh
A man of books, the written word, though also known to be
A paragon of men in courtly love and chivalry.

[Chorus]
He's a lover, not a fighter, and a scholar to be sure
He'll fill your mind with knowledge, and make your technique pure
He'll teach you to defend yourself and best ways not to die
He's a lover, not a fighter, and all sweetness to the eye.

Now a reputation, bad or good, it carries 'cross the land
So one day into the salle there came an unfamiliar man
Was English by appearance, with fine clothing and a blade
But any grace was cancelled by the statements that he made.

"Oh, I hear there is a teacher here, was by the rapier bred,
Who has gone soft with all these books, both in the arm and head.
Oh I have dueled a dozen men, and one more yet this day;
To show you what real fighting is, I now the gauntlet lay."

[Chorus]

Then up spoke his eager students, their professor to defend
"Oh do let us fight this callous foe to his unworthy end.
He does not a righteous challenge lay, but fights you on a whim.
Oh pray you, gentle teacher, do not soil your hand with him."

"We can beat him with Fiore, with Marozzo cut him down,
Even fighting just as Fabris showed, we'll make him look the clown.
With Agrippa, D'all Agocchie, Capo Ferro, masters all
Just put a sword into our hands and surely he will fall."

For you're a lover, not a fighter, and a scholar to be sure
You fill our minds with knowledge, and make our technique pure
You teach us to defend ourselves and best ways not to die
You're a lover, not a fighter, and all sweetness to the eye.

"Pay attention now, my students; I've a lesson here to teach.
Take up your guard inside his blade and just at proper reach.
With your elephant beneath you, you may stringer him at will,
Then if he tries to disengage, you're ready for the kill."

"This poor Englishman, you plainly see, he does not know the game.
A well-delivered blow and then we'll send him home in shame.
Learn well unto this art, my friends; don't merely thrust and pray,
And the eye patch that I give him will remind him of this day."

"I'm a lover and a scholar and a fighter to be sure
I'll fill your minds with knowledge and make your technique pure
Though professore I may be, well schooled and well read,
It just means I've a hundred ways to punk you in the head."

He's a lover and a fighter and a scholar to be sure
He'll fill your mind with knowledge and make your technique pure
He'll teach you to defend yourself and best ways not to die
He's a lover and a fighter, and all sweetness to the eye.
He's a lover and a fighter, and all sweetness to the eye.