(For The Week of November 7th - 13th, 2004)

So it’s been a long time…too long…but that’s what happens when you let the “Man” keep you down…mixed with a lack luster slate of movies hitting the screen these days….but no more…the Pun is back and better than ever…along with some tasty leftover Halloween treats for y’all…Let’s quickly review what’s happened since I last spoke with my faithful following:

1. Pigs finally grew wings and flew…not only that, they flew right out of my ass as the Boston Red Sux finally beat the Yankees and won a World Series…I am still in denial about this…I like to pretend it didn’t happen…I like to think that when I walked out of Fenway after Game 4 of the Yankees series, I was a happy victor and not the guy that was continuously heckled and mocked for the 15 minutes it took to get to my car…I like to think that David Ortiz’s head doesn’t weigh 75 pounds and that he isn’t my real DADDY….but he is and the Red Sox did win…please…please…kill me now.

2. The Big PUN turned the BIG 30!...that’s right kids…your favorite PHAT BALD GUY is officially all grown up…now Mrs. Phat Bald Guy threw the Pun one heck of a birthday bash where I received my latest toy…an iPod…god, I have no idea how I got on without this wonderful device…I would also like to point out that I have found once reaching the age of 30, your body begins to do funny things…like, for instance, cause you immense amounts of back pain for no valid reason…or, when your walking down a hill to grab lunch sometimes your ankle just gives out and you fall, ripping your pants, cutting your knee to shit and scuffing the shit out of your shoes as you roll down the hill with several college students looking on laughing…funny how that thing happens…totally normal right?

3. President George W. Bush won re-election for four more years…I don’t think its any secret that I was not a big supporter of W….that still hasn’t changed. I just hope he makes the right choices with this bullshit war he has gotten our country involved in…and I hope he begins to try and bring what I believe is a clearly divided country back together…and thirdly, I hope he can restore this great nation to what I believe it once was…when we where leaders through out the world…when we were looked at as a strong, proud nation and had the respect of so many around the world…not as we are today…I am not confident that he can do any of this mind you…but I have hope…and that’s something.

4. And last but not least, the release of the trailer for this spring’s final installment of the Star Wars Trilogy was finally release this past Friday. I will not give anything away here, but HOLY SHIT!...that’s all I can say….WOW…I just hope the movie can now deliver…cause my expectations just went through the roof.

Let’s get to this week’s lists….

Watch these movies now!!!!!

The Incredibles

(Playing with Star Wars Trailer) Not only is this now my favorite animated movie off all time, but it was just about the best movie I have seen in quite a while. Great characters, all unique and funny and all with a tremendous amount of depth…which is thanks to a wonderfully written story…In fact, I think this movie plays more to adults than it does to children. The story is in no way dumbed down for kids…in fact I found it had dealt with several serious issues and with relationships, especially the dynamics of a family relationship….all that and it was about superheroes…Frozone…Dash…Mr. Incredible…Elastigirl…soooo cool…and I don’t know what it was about Mrs. Incredible, maybe it was Holly Hunter’s voice…maybe it was her big animated ass….but total Cartoon MILF.

Team America: World Police

Truly the funniest puppet movie ever…hands down…I mean what’s the competition?....ummmmmm…well anyway…coming from the minds of the South Park guys, you knew this would be crazy…and they totally deliver…the puppet sex was easily one of my favorite moments in film history…I could have watched an hour and a half of that alone…but aside from all the hijinx and comedy, this is also a very funny, very smart political satire on the state of the world and America’s part in it.

Dawn of the Dead (remake)

I rented this for Halloween and figured I would kind of like it at best…thought, most zombie movies are relatively the same but what the heck, right?...I liked it a lot more than I thought I would…I totally dug the zombie make up and effects…I love the group holing up in the mall for weeks…I loved the whole dumb thing…and the extra’s were pretty good and cheesy too…check it out.

Jersey Girl

This was the first Kevin Smith movie I did not see in the movie theatre…I mean no Jay…no Silent Bob????....can’t be good right?...well, I was clearly wrong…now, a lot of critics didn’t care for this film…but I dug it…I usually, 99.9% of the time HATE Ben Affleck in anything…he sucks any possible chance a film ever has of being successful…I detested him through about 75% of this movie too…but in the end, somehow, someway, he turned me around…I loved Gertie…so cute and so good as a key cog in the film…and George Carlin is great as the dad…great role for him…very different but not unlike I picture him as a real grandpa...check this out despite the critics and form your own opinion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Polar Express

Maybe I am a dick or just have no clue about films…but I think this movie looks shitty…and on top of that…the animated version of Tom Hanks kind of creeps me out…this will have to be the greatest reviewed movie ever for me to watch.

Seed of Chucky

Never liked the first one or the 10 odd films that followed in this series…I doubt I will like this one…and I also doubt we will ever know because the chance of me ever seeing this are about as good as the Red Sox winning the..uh…oh shit….

 

 

 

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(Has to be a trilogy or more)

 

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