Is Mary 'the babe' Coughlan Donegal's answer to Nicole Kidman?
Political insiders are making comparisons of the dilemma the newly promoted Minister for Social and Family Affairs, Donegal's Mary 'the babe' Coughlan now faces, and that which Hollywood star, Nicole Kidman faced on her wedding night with ex-husband, Tom Cruise, when she couldn't decide which way to turn.
Donegal's massive black economy has long been out of control, and The Babe's constituency is no exception. As the new minister with the responsabity for social welfare, she also has the responsability of controlling fraud. What direction will she turn? Will she reward Donegal's welfare cheats for their support, by allowing business to continue as usual, or will she clamp down hard upon them, now that she has the power?
One thing however is certain; any journalist who can operate a camera and drive to the various venues on 'signing day' that exist close by her office and home, could seriously embarrass the new minister, by revealing the apparent wealth, and business activities of many, if not most of the means tested signees. We could, and should bring up certain comments in connection with the local welfare fraud, attributed to more than one of the Babe's secretarial staff in her constituency office (such as discouraging the reporting of fraud to the authorities), but we won't. The camera doesn't libel, and a picture is worth a thousand words.

Mary 'the babe' Coughlan keeps her mouth shut, almost all the way to victory Mary's elevation to ministerial status did its job, and brought the once flagging TD back to power again. Others could take lessons from The Babe's softly softly, easy going approach. How many Ministers of State who were expecting to become Minster for Social Welfare, would pause to talk to one of the biggest welfare cheats in her constituency while on the campaign trail and buy him a drink? Ms. Coughlan has yet to be photographed again with her mouth shut, since the Mad-as-Hell.Com inspired photo shoot by Fianna Fáil campagn stratagists.

Pat 'idiot name' Gallagher tops the poll in Donegal South West Pat 'the cope' Gallager MEP, topped the poll in Donegal SW as he swept to victory in an election that has brought the most corrupt political party in Ireland to an almost absolute majority. Pat, who has the name of being a man of the people, will no doubt be relaxing after the celebrations, in his humble Donegal home, beside his indoor swimming pool. Despite his catch-phrase being: 'only a phone call away', rumours that a constituent had been unable to contact him through his office over a period of 18 months, the last time he was a TD for the area, have been confirmed.

Jim White loses, to the relief of his political party Poor Jim. He put up a brave fight, but got beaten in the end. In a hard fought campaign, he even attacked his running mate (as well as all his opponents) for doing bugger all for the constituency. A rare treat indeed, to hear a politician speak the truth. A Finé Gael source has told Mad-as-Hell.Com that the party is "as mad as hell" with White, due to his maverick campaign. Likewise, Jim has been reported to be as mad as hell at local newspaper the Donegal Democrat, and its front page story, published on the day before the election. Sadly though, he betrayed his principals in the end, publishing a congratulatory message in regard to Mary 'the babe' Coughlan's new post, saying it was "well deserved".

McGinley's desperation pays off, as he takes the last seat Wee Dinny was so desparate at the thought of the possible loss of his seat to his old adversary, Jim White, he resorted to having his aids telephone prospective voters, canvasing for their votes, on the day before the election. Dinny is best known to regular Mad-as-Hell.Com readers, as the TD who walked (at speed) out of a constituent's home, while waving his hands in the air, saying, "I know, I know", rather than discuss the local welfare fraud.

This chap wasn't able to stand in the election..... ......and let's face it, if he had, he wouldn't have had a leg to stand on. However, Sinn Fein, the party representing his murderers did, and were elected to five seats.

Mad-as-Hell.Com has learned that a woman was harrassed while undergoing treatment at Donegal's Letterkenny General Hospital. The woman, who is married, and in her 30s, told us that she was asked whether her 'cycle' was regular, while a woman who was either a radiologist, doctor, nurse, or bogus asylum seeker from Planet Catholica, was performing a medical procedure upon her. On hearing her patient relate that she was regular, due to being "on the pill", she asked had she heard about natural family planning methods. Having both a sense of humour, and a curiosity whether what was coming was medicaly or religiously based, the woman asked, "do you mean condoms", to which the medic launched into a speech applauding the benefits of 'natural birth control', and basicaly saying that if she used artificial methods of contraception, she had no respect for her body. The patient in question, was nervous enough about the procedure, as she had been waiting for over 8 months, in a state of near constant pain. She has told us, that she had felt so threatened during the experience, she will never again allow herself to be treated by anyone in a hospital again, unless there is a second person in the room. At first glance, this affair is merely a case of a fanatic giving an opinion, but given a closer look, we are faced with a woman in a vunerable state of mind, going through, what for her is an ordeal, and being subjected to personal harrasment unconnected with her medical condition. Not only is it unethical; it is a clear indictment of 'modern' Ireland's acceptance of such happenings. No wonder then, that Ireland's main opposition party was deserted in the election, despite it being revealed during the campaign that women who discovered lumps on their breasts, and who are refered by their GPs for further examination, can face a waiting list of up to 7 months.

Wee Dinny helps defend the nation! Donegal's own Dinny McGinley has been given the job of opposition (what's left of it) spokesman on defence. Let's all hope that in the unlikely event that Fine Gael take power once again soon, and we get invaded, that Dinny has more guts than the time he walked (at speed) out of a constituent's home, while waving his hands in the air, saying, "I know, I know", rather than discuss the local welfare fraud.

Here come the judge! Well, y'all heard the saying, 'It's only funny until someone gets hurt.... then it's fucking hillarious'? That's what just happened. Some young children got sexually abused, while someone took photographs of them, and some prominent Irish citizens bought the pictures over the internet..... with their credit cards. Only in Ireland could a group of prominent professionals, one of whom is a judge, be so arrogant. As a number of those caught are from Donegal, we'll be keeping a close eye on things.......

A national disgrace
We at Mad-as-Hell.Com, consider it to be scandalous, and nothing less than a national disgrace, that Ireland's new minister for social welfare, Donegal's Mary 'the babe' Coughlan, has been allocated a chauffer driven ministerial car, that's two years old. Poor Mary, having to suffer the embarrasment and indignity of riding in a car that's older than some of the vehicles driven by Donegal's unemployed welfare recepients, whose means tested payments are paid by her department.
However, The Babe could have the last laugh. Her husband, Garda David Charlton (a man deserving of more media attention than he's had) was heard talking at the bar of one of his regular watering holes, discussing his wife becoming Ireland's first female prime minister. The gentleman whose company he was in, was quite adamant about her future destiny, repeatedly saying "I'll make sure of it".

Not a healthy sign Despite the disgracful state of Ireland's health services, as definitivley revealed during the election campaign, when it was announced that women can wait up to 7 months for tests, after discovering lumps on their breasts, not to mention (as mentioned in one of our previous editions) unneccesarily having to have their breasts removed if they were unfortunate enough to live in places such as Donegal, that are devoid of any facilities for radiation therapy, Health Minister, Micheal Martin has kept his ministerial post. Donegal Orangemen turn green in football fever epidemic The Donegal Doleman, our local pub, presented us with an ecouraging sight during Ireland's World Cup games. We witnessed the cream of Donegal's protestant farming population cheering on the Irish team. Not only just your average dolemen, but Orangemen and Freemasons, knocking back Brandy and Bacardi as if the world was about to end, jumping up and down and hugging one another in a display of national unity, before staggering to their weapons of mass destruction and driving home, with not a garda in sight.

Bye bye bastard Dr. Jim McDaid, outgoing tourism minister who unexpectedly topped the poll in Donegal NE, has lost his ministerial position, and been demoted to a junior ministerial position. McDaid, who during the campaign, refered to suicide victims as "selfish bastards", while lecturing 14 - 18 year olds, was exposed in our last edition as being a hypocrite, as we contrasted his remarks on welfare fraud, with his remarks on suicide. As expected, the media has still continued to ignore this. After the election result, it was revealed that Ireland's suicide rate was among the highest in the EU, far exceeding the carnage on our roads. Donegal Town under siege, where are our gardai? The level of violence originating in Donegal Town's nightclubs has even made the national media, with local doctors stating that they are refusing to enter such premises, because of the escalating danger. The gardai (the Irish Police Farce) have stated that it's only a matter of time before someone is killed, and are greatly concerned. We at Mad-as-Hell.Com have a suggestion; perhaps the gardai might be tempted to do the job they're paid for by the taxpayer, instead of doing things such as assisting the 'bouncers' in certain premises, to do age checks at the door (and letting in kids as young as 15, who later drown in the bay, in the proccess). After all, the nightclub owners who are charging anything up to 10 euro per person at the entrance alone, can well afford to employ their own staff.

Ireland extends fishing fleet as EU orders cuts
The EU has ordered sweeping cuts to the European fishing fleet. This will cause many hardships throughout Europe, but is neccesary in order to preserve fish stocks for both our own, and future generations.
Ireland will be playing its part with her European partners, in helping the conservation effort.
Frank Fahey, Ireland's outgoing (now gone) Minister for the Marine, on the same day the cuts were announced by the EU, removed his head (metaphoricaly) from 'Atlantic Dawn' owner, Kevin McHugh's arse, long enough to announce that the Irish fleet is to be extended with €56m in grants for 38 new vessels, paid for with EU money.
As covered last time, the 'Atlantic Dawn', pictured above, the largest trawler in the world, known as 'the factory ship from hell' and 'the biggest, baddest, and most brazenly illegal super-trawler yet' has now been given a licence to fish in EU waters.... after fishing of the coast of West Africa, where it seriously reduced one of the few local natural resourses of one of the poorest places on earth.

You can make a difference
In view of the failure of the British and Irish governments to bring the Omagh bombers to justice, the victims have launced a civil case against the alleged perpatrators. You can make a difference in Ireland by showing your support in the fight against terrorism, by donating to the legal fund, which needs to raise £1,000,000. Unbelievably, the fund is well sort of target.

Ponder this for a moment; should the British government pull out of their plans to fund the memorial to Diana, Queen of Tarts, how long do you think it would take for the public to raise the £3,000,000?

Donations can be sent to: Royal Bank of Scotland, Fleet Street Branch, London, EC4.
Sort code: 16-00-11
Account number: 100 84 990
Account name: Omagh Victims Legal Trust

Also, donations can be made by credit card by calling 0870 907 2000 or by cheque to the legal firm handling the case, made out to the Omagh Victims Legal Trust c/o H2O, 5 John Street, London WC1N 2HH.