Humbly in His Will
by Chris Reed
July 29, 1998
I first heard about WeighDown a few years ago when someone at work mentioned it and its spiritual implications. At that time I remarked, half-jokingly, "I have enough spiritual problems in my life. I don't need the guilt of making my weight a spiritual problem!"
What I wasn't ready to admit is that my weight was already a spiritual problem. Food was my friend, my comforter. Happy? Eat. Sad? Eat. Stressed Out? Eat! Of course! I turned to food for satisfaction, I turned to food as my savior.
I think you have all heard the story, "My Heart, Christ's Home," where God wants to come physically into the 'house' of your life.
I had accepted Christ as a young child, I loved Him. I walked with Him daily. I had no problem giving Him almost all the 'rooms' in my life...living room...halls...library...fine. But the kitchen was MINE...and I wasn't to
crazy about giving Him McDonalds or Dairy Queen either! There were certain
hidden areas that, I was sure Christ would understand, I wanted to keep
control of. After all, He had so much of my life. But, of course, every area
of my life that I wanted to control........was out of control.
Last Fall, I came to a crisis point in my life. As a Christian mother
with three teen-age daughters, my top priority has always been to raise Godly,
Christian women. I had been struggling for quite a while with one of my
children. I felt like there was a tug-of-war going on for the heart of my
child, with Satan on the one side and myself on the other. I would lay awake
nights, crying out to God.
"What am I going to do?"
"What should I do next?"
"I am so weary of the constant battle!"
I literally laid on the ground one night, pouring out my heart to God.
God, very quietly, said, "Give her to me." I argued, "You don't understand!
She is my child, and I love her! I am fighting for her very soul!"
God, very quietly said, "YOU don't understand............She is MY child and I
love her.........I gave my SON for her very soul."
God made me realize that night that my daughter's life was not up to me.
It was up to Him. But I had to be obedient and surrender to His Will. I knew
that there was no chance of mentally or emotionally surviving unless I let the
Almighty God of the Universe step in and take over.
As God had it planned, the WD orientation was that week. I had already
read Gwen's book and understood the basic concept. Giving God control. Well,
if I could trust God with the very soul of my precious child, I could
certainly trust Him with my physical needs........couldn't I? I had to turn
over each and every area of my life that I was trying to control and trust
Him.
I had to let Him into my kitchen.
Then I had to realize that I could NEVER be in control again.
Well, that was 8 months ago. I can't begin to tell you what I have
experienced in my walk with Christ! All my life I have 'loved' God, but now I
am IN LOVE with Him. I used to read my Bible because I felt it was my duty.
Now I devour this Book because it tells what Christ has to say--just for me!
Our pastor tells us over and over to be in the Word. It needs to go deeper
than just IN the Word, we need to be so in love with the author that we can't
wait to read what He has to say.
I no longer have a passion about things of this world, what I should eat
or what I should drink, but I am passionate about following God's will for my
life. Does this mean that all the problems I have given to God have been
miraculously solved? No, it means that God has given me the grace to deal
with situations minute by minute as they come, whether they deal with food or
family. I make the choice to let God, be God, in my life.
He has allowed me to lose weight in spite of what I do to help Him out.
Unsaved coworkers ask me what's going on in my life and I now have an open
door to share Christ with them. I told one of the doctors that I was involved
in a Bible study and he thought I said 'bio-study' and wanted to know what
'kind of a 'bio-study' it was!
Has my daughter totally given over her life to Christ and now wants to be
a missionary in darkest Africa? No. But now and then I see little glimmers
of light where God is working in her life. As I talk with her about areas in
her life.....God shows me areas in my life that He is working on. And as I
fall more and more in love with Him, I fall more and more in love with my
daughter, who isn't very lovely sometimes.
As far as my weight goes, I left my scales in Egypt. I have no idea of
exact numbers. I do know that last fall I was squeezing into size 24 jeans.
Today, I wear size 6. I could do this only by doing what I should have been
doing all my life. Loving the Lord, my God, with all my heart and with all my
soul and with all my mind.
Humbly in His Will,
Chris Reed
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