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The Archives (All the news that's fit to print)

December 29, 2003
"Happy Non-Denominational Holidays!"

Well, Christmas is over, and New Year's is on its' way, so I thought I'd update. It was a totally roxxors Christmas. I got four video games (Castlevania: Lament of Innocence, .hack//Mutation, LotR Return of the King, and Metroid Prime), which was cool. I also got a ton of books, a new nifty cellphone, the extended LotR Two Towers DVD, a Gandalf the Grey action figure, a Pet Shop Boys CD, and some other stuff. I also got...*drum roll*...a Stuffed Cactuar! Whoo! You know, the one I'd asked for all those years ago! Here's a picture:
Sort of like this, but a little different
It's similar, but different. I think mine's better, and it's a lot bigger than 4 inches. The Cactuar plush, I mean.
I've decided that I'll pretty much talk about the video games. Castlevania: LoI is pretty cool. It has a great atmosphere and music to it, as well as good gameplay. It's a little easy and a little short, but still good. You can also play as a second character after you've beaten it the first time. For those of you that just need to know, just type in '@JOACHIM' after you've beaten the game with Leon to play as Joachim. It's pretty interesting, because like the second character in Castlevania: SotN, you have to change the way you play the game entirely.
.hack//Mutation is the second volume in the .hack series, the first being .hack//Infection. I reveiwed that some months back, if you remember. .hack//Mutation is very similar, except you can get additional areas, characters, items, etc. You can also meet characters from the anime .hack//Sign, too, which was pretty nifty. If you haven't played any of the .hack series, I would recommend it. It's a simulated mmorpg (multi-member online role-playing game), sort of like EverQuest, but with a storyline.
That's all I feel like talking about right now. My cellphone, by the way, is pretty awesome. Takes pictures and everything! If you want to call me, my phone number is ***-***-***0.

December 18, 2003
"School's Out!"

Well, the reason I haven't been updating is that I've actually been busy with school. No foolin'! I've just finished my finals, though, so I'm updating again! Whee!
Well, I really don't have all that much to say. I did, however, get my hands on the game "Unlimited SaGa" and thought I'd give you a quick review.
Unlimited SaGa, put lightly, is a frustrating bore-fest. The game plays like a one-player board game (Think LIFE, but with only one person). Almost every aspect of the game is left completely up to chance with the new 'Reel' system. Basically, a little slot machine type thingy pops up on the screen during battle. All your attacks are based on how lucky you are with the slot machine. Another fun aspect of the game based on the Reel is the vast amount of traps that appear when you're moving your piece around the board. You have to win at the Reel or else you lose a lot of HP or LP (Life Points). Speaking of LP, unlike most RPGs, HP doesn't really matter. You can have 0 HP and still be up and fighting. You really need to worry about your LP. Once that reaches 0, you're dead. Each character has a set amount. Monster's attacks mostly drain HP, but sometimes, even if the damage is a very small amount, will drain your LP. After battle, you might get a treasure chest, but guess what? It's most often rigged with a trap! How do you deactivate it? Well, obviously by winning a Reel!
There are some good points in the game. The music is very good, and so are the graphics. Ambient sounds abound! However, there are only a couple of scenes of animation (aside from batte) in the whole game. Everything else is made up of pictures and the game board. Disappointing, but I could deal with that. It was the rest of the game system that was frustrating. The battle system was confusing, and the battles often strange and difficult. At one point during battle, my character started dealing only 7 or 8 damage, instead of the usual 80 to 100 damage.
So, would I recommend this game to anyone else? No. Unless you like leaving everything up to chance. If you REALLY like gambling, you might like Unlimited SaGa. I think that their website puts it best:
You call y'self chicken, or HARDCORE!!!?

November 30, 2003
"The Day of the Turkeys has arrived!"

Well, I've finally updated, after a full 20 days of non-updatitude! I guess I'll start from the latest stuff and work my way backwards.
I saw The Matrix: Revolutions the other day (yesterday) on "teh IMAX". Unfortunately, the only seats my many friends and I could acquire near each other were in the very front two rows. I have to say, there were two really good parts to the movie. The first was the gouging I received when buying tickets, and the second were the APUs. The APUs definitely made the movie. They should make a movie out of the APUs. Or better yet, a video game! They could call it..."Mechwarrior"! It would be 4W350M3!
Just before seeing the movie yesterday, I attended a second Thanksgiving dinner along with about 30 or so of my buddies from high school, all in one local Boston Market! They never saw it coming! They didn't see us, or the Coke that Karsten spilled all over the ground! Bwah ha ha! Take that, Boston Market!
The night before, Jimmy, Ryan, Dan [the Cederberg], and I spent a good ol' fashioned time at Jimmy's watching movies and eating pizza. Oh, and don't forget my massive amount of groin shots in Medal of Honor. Well, we were there until about 3:00 AM, so my mom was a bit mad when I came back without telling her I was going to be late. Oh well.
In other news, some of my relatives paid us a visit for the holidays. It's a rare occurance to have relatives visit, the reason for that being that the nearest relative lives a little over 7 hours away by car. The rest live back out West. While eating Thanksgiving dinner, we taught their baby daughter the joys of eating olives off of one's fingers. Good times!
Well, as it turns out, aside from the last week, nothing interesting really happened. I'll finish fixing the Programs page sooner or later, so in case you're one of the few that just CAN'T wait until it gets back up...too bad.

November 10, 2003
"Gabba gabba hey!"

Well, I took the Programs offline for a while. I'm changing the format a bit. Instead of downloading individual programs, I'll put Zip files on a Downloads page with a few files each. This'll save a bit of space, and make things easier for me. Also, I'll be able to upload C++ files. I'll finish the page later. It's almost midnight now, and I'm tired. This update's a bit late anyway, so who cares?

November 1, 2003
"Hey, Strong Bad! How do you type with boxing gloves on?"

Well, it seems I've made this update a day early! Booya! I've been making most of my updates lately on Sunday, so I've set that date as an official HannAmerica Update Day.
Last night was Halloween. Not a lot of kids live around me, so I only had to give out a limited amount of candy. There was a couple of good times, though. For instance, I saw someone with a Strong Bad costume! Ah, good times! Of course, I asked him how he types with boxing gloves on, but the kid didn't get it, I think. A Strong Bad novice, as it were. The other good part was when six "fine ladies" came up to the door dressed in skimpy outfits. Oh, I gave them "candy" alright! Bwah ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Yep! Snickers and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
In other news, I sort of changed the format of the site a bit. The update bar lists any updates I make and is displayed on the Main page only. The User Pics page doesn't have an update bar anymore, but now displays an amazing three pics per row! Booya! Finally, I fixed a problem with the table sizes. It seems that changing the font size with your browser would screw up the table alignment. Methinks that's a-fixed now. Oh, and if you didn't already know, I'm making AOL Buddy Icons now! Change your Buddy Icon in the preferences menu!

October 26, 2003
"Smash those Super Brothers, Melee!"

Well, After a two-week hiatus from updating, I'm back, and better than ever! Well, maybe not. I spent last weekend creating a different site for a school homework assignment and didn't feel like updating. However, now, I have a few new things to post up here. First is an update to Jimmy's profile, complete with new pictures! Also, I'll post the link to my new site.
In other news, Gamecube! I bought one Wednesday. Along with it, I got Super Smash Bros. Melee and Viewtiful Joe, both excellent games. I've almost gotten all the characters from SSBM, but I'm still missing two. Oh well. Personally, I greatly enjoy playing as Marth or Ganondorf, but I'm pretty good with Samus and Link, too.

October 12, 2003
"Woop woop!"

I'm back from "vacation," and ready to update! About a week ago, when I turned on my computer, I was greeted with the dreaded blue screen of death. The cause? My Synaptics brand TouchPad! Bah! So, I downloaded the update to fix it, and found a nifty touchpad drawing program! That, obviously, led to 2 new pics, albeit incredibly crappy ones, even for my standards. Hey, it's hard to draw on a small touchpad with just your finger!
I also found some new quotes to put up, from a fake email claiming they were news headlines from 1997. Here are the good ones:
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Teachers Strike Idle Kids
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Deer Kill 17,000
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Bwah ha ha ha! See? Most have double meanings! Bwah ha ha! Bwah! Ha! ...Bwah! Ah, you don't get it!
Also, while I was a-browsin' around, I found a funny advertisment for a product called Toungue of Frog. Click on it! Ha Ha! Also, check out this acrostic!

October 2, 2003
"New stuff!"

Well, Jimmy sent me a slew of new pics that I've posted over to the side. Thanks, buddy! I've also created a new page for all of those who want to skip school, but can't think of an excuse. The link is over on the link bar to the right. Click on the link that says: Crazy Libs. Duh.

September 22, 2003
"Hurricane Isabel...ROCKED!"

Well, Hurricane Isabel came and went without much incident...Oh, wait, I mean, it came and went with GREAT incident! Yeah, our power was out from about 9:30 PM EST Thursday night to about 1:30 AM EST Saturday morning. Just long enough to ruin EVERYTHING in our refrigerator and freezer! Yahoo!
In other news, I put up two new links. Check 'em out! ...NOW!

September 15, 2003
"The End Has Arrived! Again!"

With yet another hurricane on its' way, I can't help but feel that everyone on the planet is doomed to die a horrible, painful death by Thursday. Or maybe not, I don't know.
Well, I was a bit too busy with college and not caring to update last week, but it doesn't really matter since nothing important happened. In the meantime, I've been doing a bit of drawing here and there, and if I can finish a decent piece, I'll a-scan it and a-post it. I can't guarantee it'll be of "Mona Lisa" quality, but I can guarantee it will at least be of a "see what kind of marks that slamming a dead cat into a brick wall will make" quality. Probably.

September 1, 2003
"The End Has Arrived!"

Yep, that's right. Tomorrow my college career officially begins. To celebrate, I made a few pictures. Not exactly User Pics, mind you. Just edited ones. Enjoy. I may put these on the User Pics page later, if I feel like making thumbnails for them.
The time Metrowerks was OWN3D!
Chairman Mao loves his kittens!
It's a little known fact, but Peter Jackson, director of the Lord of the Rings trilogy origionally cast my parakeet Damascus as Frodo. Here is a rare shot of Damascus as "Frodo" and Orlando Bloom as "Legolas" as they make their way through the woods.
Regular Shot
Damascus Closeup

August 25, 2003
"The End Draws Near..."

Here's a quick update before I head off to bed. Lesse now... I spent the last 3 days on vacation, presumably to celebrate the end of summer vacation. My family and I went to the beach, which was alright, except one night it rained a bunch and the water was ice-cold the next day.
Anywho...I added 1 new link! It's for a Castlevania site. Enjoy, if you feel like it.

August 18, 2003
"I like-a to say: Holy Crap!"

Well, my first almost-weekly update in quite some time! Boo! I mean Yeah!
I just thought I'd give you an example of the extreme power of my leadership. Here's a little snippet from the last game of Civilization 3 I played: (click here!)
Bwah ha ha! Not only was I able to create the Manhattan Project before anyone else, I created it more than 400 years before it's actual creation! Bwah ha ha! Needless to say, I beat the crap out of all my opponents. But what else can happen when you're nuking cities and fighting off their spearmen with Mech Infantry and Modern Armor divisions?
Oh yeah, and if you haven't already, go grab the Google Toolbar! Not only can you Google search anywhere, but it blocks popups, too! R0xx0R5! Just go to Google.com and click on the 'Get Google Toolbar' link. Do it now! Then come back here and use it to vote for my page! (The smiley-face icon in the options window.)

August 10, 2003
"Who really cares about this site, anyway?"

Seriously, folks. No one comes here. Well, I guess that's because it, for some reason, can't be placed on any search engines... Oh, well. I don't really give a darn. That's right! I said DARN!
You know, I was considering buying some real webspace, but then I paid my admission fee to Penn State and flushed that idea right down the Harrington. But hey, if anyone reading this wants to donate like $100 per month, just email me and I'll be happy to squander that money instead of buying webspace. Oh, wait! I mean "Buy some webspace at [yourname].com!?#034; Heh, heh. They'll never suspect a thing! ...What? You're still here? *runs away, engine noises, tires screeching*
(?[yourname].com will not be the actual site name. It'll probably be [yourname]sucks.com or ihate[yourname].com or something.)

June 20, 2003
"The Most Incredible Personality Test...Ever!"

I recently took a personality test from TheSpark.com, and I must say, it was right on the mark! Here are my results:

Like just 8% of the population you are a MASTERMIND (SIAT). You can be silent and withdrawn, but behind your reserved exterior lies an active mind that allows you to analyze situations and come up with creative, unexpected solutions. Normal people call this "scheming." Don't learn German.
Anyway, your sense of style and originality are your strengths, and people will respect your judgment once they get to know you. If you learn to be a little more personable, you could be a great leader--you've definitely got the "vision" thing down. Just make sure all the plotting you do behind those eyes of yours is healthy.
Famous masterminds in television: Dr. Claw, The Scarecrow and Mrs. King, Montgomery Burns.

Isn't that uncanny? Too bad it took me 4 years of German to figure out that I shouldn't have taken it. Seriously though, test it out on yourself. I really think it fits me to a tee. Enjoy!

June 15, 2003
"Blah Blah Blah: $Blah"

I just thought I'd tell you this: I took the opportunity to rent ".Hack//Infection" the other day, and let me tell you, it's freakin' very good! Seriously, I found it quite entertaining. For those of you who don't know, it's a game based on an online game (ala EverQuest). It's part of a thingy called Project .Hack, which includes a series of video games (or will include, since they're not all out yet), and an anime. If you haven't checked out .Hack//Sign on Cartoon Network (Saturdays, 12AM), do it!
And speaking of anime, I've also been watching a show called Android Kikaider on Cartoon Network (Monday-Thursday, 12AM). It's also pretty darn cool. Check it out! More good shows? How about InuYasha (Monday-Thursday, 12:30AM) or Trigun (Monday-Thursday, 1AM)? And don't forget good ol' Cowboy Bebop (Monday-Thursday, 1:30AM)! And for those of you who don't mind the crazy editing-for-minors, check out Yu Yu Hakusho and Rurouni Kenshin (Monday-Friday, 6PM and 6:30PM, respectively), all on the most wonderful network of them all, the Cartoon Network!

Now, if Cartoon Network would please pay me for all this promotion, I would certainly appreciate it...

June 10, 2003
"New Compy!"

Guess what I got as a graduation gift? That's right! A new compy! It's much faster than my old one, plus has XP (which is ok) rather than ME (which is absolute crap). It's also a notebook pc, which means I don't have to be at my mom's place to update. Not that it matters, since I never really update that often anyway.
Speaking of which, I revamped the site yet again! This time I like it much better. It looks a bit more professional. Well, as professional as a free Geocities site can be, I guess. Also, in the near future, keep a look out for easter eggs on the site...

June 3, 2003
"5(H001'5 0U7 4-3V3R!"

That's right, kiddies! School is out for us Seniors! Woot! However, even though it's "out," we've been going every day for some reason, that reason being finals and such. Ah, well. Thursday is graduation, so after that I'm home free (if I graduate, that is.)
Remember Marble Madness? I do! Here's a picture for you. (Go over to the side, it's not here. I guess it was a bit misleading to say "Here's a picture for you," but...screw you.)

May 16, 2003
"C++ Files abound!"

Well, as the year is nearing it's close, I'll soon be uploading C++ files onto the site. They'll probably have to be in zip or rar files, but they'll still be there. It'll take a bit, since I have to email them to myself from school to my house since there's no winzip or winrar here. I'd download it and install it, but it's DISALLOWED!!! Well, I'd hack into it and let myself download and install, but why risk it? Not like I really care about how prompt I am with my uploads anyway.
Also, I saw The Matrix: Reloaded yesterday, and I thought it was so-so. It had a lot of weird, random stuff inserted into it, and some obviously-CG stuff in it, but it was still pretty good. The best character in the movie was clearly the Keymaker, and the funniest scene was when Neo started whacking the many Agent Smiths around like ragdolls with a steel pole (which, by the way, randomly lost and gained integrity during the fight). And if you haven't seen it yet, they all die.

May 12, 2003
"T minus...10..."

Well, only about 10 more days until us Seniors are out of school. It's about time! Well, maybe not. Wait, yes.
Oh yeah, in the midst of playing Xenosaga, I've also been playing Civilization III (when the PS2 is busy). It's pretty fun when you create your own island rank with the stench of thousands of natural resources. Oh yeah, and also cheating.

May 2, 2003
"Go Eagles!"

No, not the team, the scouting dealy! Yeah, I've finally started my Eagle Project, and it's going pretty good. I spent about 2 hours yesterday setting up 10-foot telephone poles with Jim and the guy who suggested the project. Fun times, right? No. Heavy times.
Well, in other news, I'm still playing Xenosaga and have yet to beat it. I guess I haven't been playing games as much as normal for the past two weeks. I've been a bit busy with my EAGLE PROJECT!!! Oh yeah, and tests.
Oh, if you haven't yet, go to homestarrunner.com! It's full of crazy-go-nuts funtime goodness!

April 25, 2003
"It's about freakin' time! (or not)"

Well, it took me over a month, but I finally updated! Wooo! ...Alright, it's not that exciting. Well, in the last month, you may have noticed that you had to pay your taxes. Not me, though! Bwah ha ha! I didn't owe anything! Fabulous deductions! Suckers!
Oh yeah, and something happened over in Iraq or something. I can't remember.
I bought Xenosaga for the PS2 last monday. I think it's safe to say that it rocks the casba like nothing else. Go out and get it, even if you don't have a PS2 or like videogames.

March 18, 2003
"Look out for Metroid!"

You may have noticed by now that I've created a new little Metroid wandering picture dealy! Woot! It's only on this page, though. It just floats around the screen, all casual like. I like it, anyway. Oh, yeah, Metroid is property of Nintendo, and not me. I got the image from them. I didn't create it, okay!

March 17, 2003
"March Madness Extension!!!"

Well, kiddies, from what I've heard, your favorite webmaster (me), has finally convinced your former webmaster (Chris) to keep the current format, and let me extend Evil Empires Month by at least one other month! Hoorah! It's partially because I squandered this month and had to force Chris to allow Evil Empires month to expand its' horizons, as it were. Oh, well. Who cares?

March 3, 2003
"Evil Empires Month, or as I like to call it, March Madness!"

That's right, Gustave K. Margueriff here! I'm filling in for Chris this month, as he's been infected with apathy. Therefore, I've declared March the month of Evil Empires! This month, you'll get inside info on all of the deeds of the evil side of HannAmerica! Mwa ha ha!
For instance: ... ... ahh.... Aha! Our recycling program is sub-par at worst! Mwa ha ha! Ha ha ha! I can sense the fear in your hearts! Mwa ha ha...agh! Ack! Urk! Hack!

February 18, 2003
"Best snowstorm...ever!"

Hey, sorry for the complete lack of updates in the last...one...two...two and a half weeks... I'd like to say I was busy, but I...wasn't. Just lazy.
Well, if you didn't guess from the article title, it's been snowing like a madman around here. Between a foot and a half and two feet of snow piled up, even on the streets. Needless to say, the city is closed. Note that this estimate is only from my limited experience outside, during which I just shoveled it. It started Sunday night and didn't stop until...well, it is still technically snowing, just not a whole lot. The only problem? WE ALREADY HAD MONDAY AND TUESDAY OFF OF SCHOOL!!! Stupid holidays/inservice days...or maybe...stupid snow on Monday and Tuesday! It should have started tonight, and continued on into Friday!
In other news, my sister's birthday was Sunday. I bought her Dragonball Z: Budokai for the PS2, which she seems to really like. She also got a Gameboy Advance and some Transformers. In case you're wondering, and you probably are not, she's 9 years old now. She plays DBZ:B a lot, but every now and then calls me in to help her beat someone. She's got a pretty good hold on the game, which makes me wonder why she asks me for help, since fighting games aren't really my specialty. I'm not bad at it, and I've beaten some of the more difficult enemies such as Frieza and Perfect Cell, but I'm certainly not incredible at the game.

February 3, 2003
"Skipping school = good"

That's right...I'm skipping school today. Well, sort of. My sister's sick as a duck and my mom is staying home to watch her, so I decided to use one of my semester-allocated skip-days. Not as exciting, but hey, it works. I just have one more thing to say to all of my pals at school: Ha ha! What a bunch of losers! Bwah ha ha ha! Bwah ha! Ha ha ha ha! and so on.

January 28, 2003
"Eh?"

Whoo! Sorry for the complete lack of updates in the last...what was it? Two..three weeks? I'd like to say I was busy, but I think lazy would be the more appropriate term. ...I guess I don't really have anything else to write. I did take some mid-terms a few days ago, but only the physics was really bad. Oh well, what can you do? Anyway, I'm a little strapped for time, so I'll stop here.

January 15, 2003
"Blisters is good for the thirst!"

Alrighty, I have almost finished my work on my C++ mid-term, a dice game called blisters. If you want instructions on how to play, visit blistersdicegame.com. Once I'm finished, I'll upload it and possibly the .EXE file onto the site for all to enjoy (that is, IF I finish.

January 5, 2003
"So far, new year offers nothing new."

That's right, it's been 2003 for almost 6 days now, and I can't even tell the difference between this one and the last! What's going on here? Didn't anybody tell that stupid Baby 2003 that it's supposed to be doing something now? Hey! You only have one year until you die a lonely, bitter old man who's hated by everybody! Get on the ball! Let's get moving, Baby 2003! Baby 2004 is right on your heels and ready to step right over your corpse next new year's, so you'd better make this time count!
In other news, I finally upgraded my car's stereo system (meaning, I took out the old one and put in the new one, plus I fixed the rear speakers). Go car!