June 19, 2001
Staying just outside of Duncannon tonight with Norway and Summer-dog. A four mile day and early into camp. It feels so good to give myself permission to give myself the low mileage day I need. Norway helped with that. I've been meeting the most incredible people lately, which is part of why I haven't written lately.
After putting intense thought into my life for awhile, I haven't been thinking in a focused pattern lately. The result? Insight.
My Mom has been close lately. When I stayed a second night at the Ironmasters Hostel, TreeHugger was there. She talked about losing her Grandma, who was like a mom to her. She feels she learned the lesson earlier in life to help clear the cobwebs for others, as she says. Now she can remind people her age just starting to lose their parents, for example that feeling of frustration and guilt are normal. She recognizes the learning that has happened because of it, the growth she couldn't have had otherwise. She says she's grown in ways she couldn't have when her grandma was still alive. Then she gave me a pendant that she'd been carrying for a long time. On it is Jesus with children seated around him. She told me Mom was still with me.
The next day, as I talked with Tim about Dad and Car, I realized that the rock I'd been playing with looked like a heart. Tom's mother died when he was 19. He remembers having a really tough time and forgetting that other people were having it just as bad. The woman his dad married later never got along with the family, which created horrible conflict. Now he recognizes how much more difficult he made it for his Dad. It's easier to try to get along if at all possible, he told me.
Walking with Norway that same day, I passed a cow with a heart in the middle of his forehead. Mom's body has been gone almost a year now. Guess she's saying her hellos.
Days are longer. It stays light past 9:30 now. Summer is in full force and I appreciate living outdoors and feeling cool night breezes. I even love the heat of the day, though heat and humidity have been causing me to wilt temporarily.
The legendary rocks of PA have just begun. We've been lucky for the first third of the state. I hope that the reality isn't as harsh as the rumors. The Doyle really wasn't as nasty as the rumors. Eighty-five-cent draft beers too. No mice, no stains on the sheets. The place really was run down. Between two bathrooms, there was one of everything that worked. The cleaner-painter gave us a tip about sneaking up to the roof. Best view in town. She also let us see the ballroom that she painted. Ornate silver ceiling tiles were beautiful.
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