Introduction

About Pathways

Appalachian Trail

Why Walk?

Make a Pledge

Hiking Schedule

Journal

Photos

Links

Acknowledgements

July 30, 2001

So many highs and lows since last I wrote. I've seen far-reaching views from 2 firetowers and a lookout tower. I've ridden a gondola, eaten a burger truly cooked medium-rare, slept at a middle school and two ski patrol shacks. I've seen more sunrises and sunsets this week than possibly the rest of the trip. I've wished on stars, sat by campfires. I've finished books, written postcards, eaten chocolate, talked with my Dad civilly, had my trekking poles fixed, and re-supplied. I've also cried several times, wondered why I'm here after all, given myself pep-talks, remembered I always have everything I need to be happy, and cried some more. I've taught people how to make stoves, had latenight slumber parties, sipped on found-rum, rejoiced in the open, vast wilderness and day-dreamed dreamy thoughts about boys, which I subsequently vanquished. I've had time to remember that everything comes from perspective, dissect my Dad and realize that what he really wants is a family, ponder that my brother and everyone has the Brahman, holy, God in them, that all is united. I want to blame this funk on PMS and have it be done.

I feel like I've gotten what I came for. I'm either at a place of peace or I'm tired of thinking about Dad, Mom, Kevin, what's next, life in the other world, all of the thoughts that occupy my head daily. Does that mean it's time to go home? Problem is that I don't have a home. I refuse to acknowledge WI as home and returning to Asheville is not what I want right now either. How can I feel the need to run away when I already have?

Perhaps now that I'm at peace with what I've sought, I can start learning and discovering again. Sometimes seeking can get in the way of finding. Anything taken to the extreme becomes an art. May my heart be open to learning ever-more what this trip has to offer me.