Have you ever worked so hard for something and faced so many barriers that by the time you finally got what you wanted you almost didn’t have the energy or the ability to enjoy it?
Whenever I hear once again of fights breaking out in the disability community, I can't help but wonder that in the struggle to get what we want and need, we lose some of the skills to cope in a totally different environment. Members of other oppressed groups also seem to struggle with this issue.
Stubbornness, persistence, anger - when we look around and see people with disabilities who have succeeded against all odds - often these are the skills they draw on to keep them going. Yet to function in a relatively normal environment on the job or in a relationship - the very skills that have helped us survive, become liabilities. Making that adjustment can be very difficult for many people with disabilities as these behavior patterns become translated into the organizations we work with as well as in our personal lives. For some people it becomes a downward spiral of self-destruction as the pain and lack of confidence becomes translated into drug and alcohol addictions or behavior patterns that sabotage ourselves.
Conflict is a normal part of life and exists in any organization - be it a profit making entity or a non-profit organization. No one is immune from it. Conflict can even be healthy by forcing people to change something that has lost its usefulness, or helping to clarify a misunderstanding, but it can also be destructive. Almost everyone has had the experience of being so afraid of offending someone that every phrase and encounter becomes political.
There is a network of good, long-standing conflict resolution organizations across Canada which offer techniques and alternatives to the more traditional confrontational form of resolution. We can all benefit from learning the basic techniques that these organizations can teach us. In the United States Alternative Dispute Resolution is used in helping to settle disputes involving compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act.
But there is also a need for something a bit deeper and more disability-specific than is currently offered - something that is halfway between conflict resolution and therapy.
Whatever form it takes, people with disabilities need to be encouraged to participate in mainstream conflict resolution programs and establish and initiate programs to help people with disabilities help themselves.
Here are some resources you can start with:
Web site: http://www.nicr.ca
c/o Conrad Grebel College, Waterloo, Ont. N2L 3C6
National resource organization for those interested in dispute resolution in Canada. Publishes Interaction which reports on activities in the field of dispute resolution throughout Canada.
Trains volunteers to mediate in neighborhood, workplace and family disputes throughout Metro. Mediation services are free to individuals, and are available in several languages. Also functions as a Metro-wide resource centre for training and information.
The UVic Institute for Dispute Resolution conducts research through its own Program of Excellence in Dispute Resolution, externally funded research projects, and the Institute's internal research projects. The Institute also disseminates dispute resolution knowledge through local, national and international conferences and symposiums. Institute activities have resulted in over 20 publications, including works on:
Houses the oldest Canadian undergraduate program in peace and conflict studies, along with affiliated research and public education programs. The Institute is located at:
The Institute of Peace and Conflict Studies
Conrad Grebel College
University of Waterloo
Waterloo, ON N2L 3G6
phone:(519) 885-0220
fax:(519) 885-0014
email: ipacs2@watserv1.uwaterloo.ca
The LaMarsh Centre is mandated to support, conduct, and disseminate the results of research on violence and conflict resolution in the broad sense. In particular, its aim is to carry out research which is relevant to the social concerns, first, of the residents of Ontario and, second, of Canadians in general. Named after the politician, lawyer, and author, the late Judy LaMarsh, it is dedicated to the encouragement of research which explores the themes of violence and conflict resolution in Canadian society.
For more information:
LaMarsh Centre for Research on Violence and Conflict Resolution
217 York Lanes
York University
4700 Keele Street
North York, Ontario Canada M3J 1P6
Telephone: (416) 736-5528
fax: (416) 736-5647
E-mail: lamarsh@yorku.ca
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