Welcome

to the world of Teens! You have made it through breast/bottle feedings, potty training,various childhood diseases, "boo-boos" and illnesses, the first day of school, and a host of other child related incidents...and guess what?
You job is not over yet! *grin* In fact, teen years are going to be your most rewarding, most frightening years yet!
There is a whole new game about to start...high school, that first love,driving school, *shudder*.....their need for independance as well as a need for careful guidance has begun...
So get set, get a grip, and hold on tight for the "ride of your life!"

Family Activites For Teens? Sure!!!

Quality family time is important for children of all ages. It is especially important during the teenage years when young people feel pressure from their peers to become so many things. Teenagers need to be reminded that they are loved and are an important part of the family. Family bonding time promotes feelings of contentment and security. It develops trust.
Here are a few items to keep in mind when planning to spend *quality time* with your teen.
Finding Common Ground
Try to pick activites that you can all enjoy together...while the list may seem short, it is imperative that everyone enjoys the planned activity for a successful outing, or event.
Take a family poll, if necessary, asking for a list of favorite activities to choose from...movie watching, althletic events, shopping, eating out, are some of my family's favorites.

The Teen-Parent Relationship
What should parents do if their teen is unresponsive to the idea of an upcoming family outing or event?

"This is a question that gets directly to the teen-parent relationship,” says Dr. Barry Ginsberg, director of The Center of Relationship Enhancement in Doylestown, Penn. “It is important to start with trying to understand what is happening at this time in the lives of parents and child." Adolescence is a period when children are developing a separate self and desiring increased independence from their parents' authority. During this period, it is important for the parents to balance the use of their authority with cooperation from their adolescents.
"Every decision should take the adolescent's position into consideration while not giving up the parents' authority," Ginsberg says. "Adolescents want their parents to maintain authority because it gives them security, while at the same time they want respect for their points of view."
In their quest for independent selves, teenagers may reject or be resistant to what they think their parents want them to do. Family events might be fun to them, but may make them feel as though they’re being held back from their independence.
"Often these events are in fact boring to the adolescent and mostly for the benefit of the adults. Parents may want their teenagers to go for the parents' own sake, often wanting to hold onto them and not recognizing it," Ginsberg says.
Ginsberg recommends a way to approach this potential conflict. Negotiate as much as possible so that the teen feels that his needs are taken into consideration. When it is really important to the parent for the teenager to attend a family event, the parent can negotiate a compromise such as bringing a friend or doing something at the event that is strictly for the adolescent.
The above approach may not always help and a teen may still argue about a request to accompany the family. Ginsberg says parents should "maintain a respectful attitude toward the adolescent as much as possible and be willing to accept the adolescent not going when it may not be that important to the parent."
So, what do you have planned with your teenager this week? If there is nothing on the calendar, ask you teen what she would like to do. The answer might surprise you!

Links and Resources

Parenting is the hardest, most rewarding job in the world. There is just too much to cover in these pages alone, but the internet is a wonderful wellhouse of knowledge and information. Please visit our Parenting page for  links on activites, advice,for parenting teens, and other aged children.

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