Why does Kim wear
underwear?
A)They are good ankle warmers
Whats the first thing Kim does after sex?
A)Open the car door
Why was Kim kicked out of the M & M factory?
A)She threw out W's
Why does Kim sometimes stare at Orange Juice
containers for hours?
A)They say concentrate
How do you make Kim's eyes light up?
A)Shine a Flashlight in her ear
Why is it good to have Kim as a passenger?
A)So you can park in the handicap zone
Why is Kim always having fun?
A)She's easy to keep amused.
What do you do if Kim throws a grenade at you?
A)Pull the pin out and throw it back
How do you drown Kim?
A)Put a scratch and sniff or mirror at the bottom of a pool
What do you call Kim delos Santos with 2 brain
cells?
A)Pregnant
Why does Kim wear hoop earings?
A)to hold her ankles
Why does Kim have a navel?
A)Her boyfriend is a relative
How can you tell Kim delos Santos has been using
your computer?
A: There is whiteout all over the computer screen!
How do you make Kim delos Santos laugh on
Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday!
How do you really confuse Kim delos Santos?
A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner!
Why does Kim delos Santos have TGIF on her shoes?
A: It stands for "Toes Go In First!"
How do you describe Kim delos Santos, surrounded
by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered!
What is Kim delos Santos doing when she holds her
hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought!
Why did Kim delos Santos climb over the chain link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side!
Why did Kim climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house!
What are the worst six years in Kim's life?
A: Third Grade!
What goes "vroom - screech | vroom-screech | vroom-screech"?
A: Kim at a blinking red light.
Why can't Kim make ice cubes?
A: She always forgets the recipe!
How did Kim try to kill the fish?
A: She tried to drown it!
How can you tell when a FAX has been sent from Kim?
A: There's a stamp on it!
Why does Kim like lightning?
A: She thinks someone is taking her picture!
What does Kim make best for dinner?
A: Reservations!
How did Kim wreck the helicopter?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.
What was Kim doing up in the tree?
A: She was raking leaves.
How can you tell Kim has been in the bathroom?
A: There is make-up all over the mirror
Why can't Kim make Kool-Aid?
A: She can never get the 2 quarts of water into the little bag.
What do Kim and beer bottles have in common?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.
How do you give a Kim a brain transplant?
A: Blow her in her ear.
Did you hear what happened when Kim tried to drive to
California?
A: She saw a sign that said "California Left" so she went
home.
What do UFO's and a good Kim song have in common?
A. You hear about them all the time, but you never see one.
What does Kim say when you blow in her ear?
A. "Thanks for the refill!"
Why did Kim climb over the glass wall?
A. To see what was on the other side.
What do you get when you give Kim a penny for her thoughts?
A. Change.
How do you amuse Kim for hours?
A. Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
What did Kim name her pet zebra?
A. Spot.
How do you drive Kim crazy?
A. Give her a bag of M & M s and tell her to alphabetize them.
Did you hear about the time Kim shot an arrow into the air?
A. She missed.
Did you hear about the time Kim locked her keys in the car?
It took her an hour to get her family out of the car.
Kim goes into a pizza parlor. When she orders a medium pizza,
the clerk asks her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six
or twelve.
"Oh, goodness, six please," said Kim, "I don't think
I could ever eat twelve!"
One day, a
Kim and her friend were walking through the park.
Suddenly, the Kim's friend said, "Oh, look, a dead
birdie!" Then Kim looked up and said, "Where?"
Note: These were originally Britney jokes but they are appropriate for
Kim too!