Issue 14
Part Two of 'Whips and Pains'

“So now wot the bleedin’ ‘ell do we do?”

“We devise a plan to rescue Inadequate Man.”

“But how are the three of us meant to storm the headquarters?”

“He won’t be in the headquarters.”

“How the ‘ell do you know?”

“I heard it when I was being held captive.”

“Did you ‘ear where they was gonna take him.”

“Well…no.”

“So then what do you think we should do?”

“Well to begin with, I think we should turn the light on in this basement. I have no idea who is saying what.”

“Good thinking.”

Drew Mate switched on the overhead light, Gerbil and Junkie Jake blinking as the light blinded them.

Gerbil took out a note book from the breast pocket of his jacket.

“Now as I was saying, Jacob, the-”

“It’s Jake. Only me mum ever called me Jacob.”

“Fine then… Jake. As I was saying, I overheard some of the guards talking and they said that Dominatrix had been hired by someone to capture Inadequate Man, but nobody knows who or why. They also mentioned a secret laboratory somewhere just outside the city that he is to be taken to when he is captured. Unfortunately, the guards did not know where that was either.”

Drew Mate nodded, thinking.

“My contacts might be able to tell me where this secret laboratory is.”

“Excellent, Miss Mate. Jacob and-”

“Jake you frigging prig!”

“Sorry… Jake and I will go to Inadequate Man’s secret hide out and find whatever weapons that we can.”

Drew’s eyes lit up at the mention of Inadequate Man’s secret hide out. “Maybe…maybe I should come with you, that way we won’t have to worry about any of us being captured.”

“No offence, Miss Mate, but I do not think that it would be wise to let a reporter know where the secret hide out is. It would be more useful for you to find out where the secret laboratory is.”

Drew Mate sighed, nodding. Jake climbed the stairs and unlocked the basement door, letting her out.

“So it’s Junkie Jake and the Anal Retentive Prig to the rescue then.” Gerbil rolled his eyes as he followed Jake out into the street, heading for home.

‘Sir, I don’t know where you are, but I assure you it cannot be any worse than what I am having to endure,’ Gerbil thought as Jake offered him a smoke. Declining, Jake lit up and started down the street, Gerbil following.

* * *

Steve smiled at him, blood and drool dripping down his chin as he came forward. He flexed his muscles and grew larger, towering over Kane. As he stood over a now tiny Inadequate Man, he grunted and raised his foot, the sole of his boot slowly blocking out all light as it started to crush him into oblivion…

Kane screamed his way back into consciousness, the intense pain in his back breaking him out of his nightmare.

Dominatrix removed the large bore needle from his spinal cord, dabbing at the small hole in his skin with alcohol. Clicking a button, the phial at the end of the button was ejected, dropping into her hand.

Labelling it, she placed it in a box that held many other similarly labeled phials.

Kane tried to get up, but his legs wouldn’t move. Pushing with all of his might, they remained in exactly the same position.

“You bitch! You paralysed me!”

Dominatrix removed an empty phial from the box and turned back around, smiling.

“If I had paralysed you, then you wouldn’t be able to feel it later when I spanked you.”

“But…but I can’t move my legs,” Kane flexed his arms, trying to get them to move. They wouldn’t either. “I…I can’t move my arms!”

“That’s because you are in restraints, you idiot!”

Kane moved his head and saw the metal clamps pinning his arms and legs to the table.

“Then what the hell were you doing with that needle in my back?”

“I was taking a sample of your spinal fluid. Now, be quiet. You’re breaking my concentration.”

Dominatrix turned back to the box, picking up each phial and talking to herself.

“Now, I have a sample of his blood, his saliva, his urine, his skin, his hair, and now his spinal fluid. So all I have left to get is a sample of his…sperm.”

Kane’s ears pricked up at the mention of sperm. Shifting his head, he saw her take her leather gloves off.

‘Well I guess this won’t be all bad,’ he thought to himself as she started undoing the fly of his costume.

Pulling his pants down, Kane swallowed at the cool air. Looking up again, he saw the smile on Dominatrix’s face.

“Please be gentle, Dominatrix…this is my first-”

Kane screamed as he had never screamed before as a large bore needle pierced the skin of his left testicle, extracting the sperm directly from the source.

Removing the needle, Dominatrix swabbed the area with rubbing alcohol to stem the bleeding and placed the filled phial in a box with the others.

Inadequate Man squeezed back the tears as Dominatrix pulled his pants back up and released the clamps holding him down.

Dominatrix smiled as she placed chains around his wrists and ankles, pulling him off the bed and dragging him towards the door.

“Now that that is out of the way, it’s time for you to feel real pain!”

Inadequate Man whimpered as his thighs were bumped together. He tried to push the tears back again and failed.

‘If that wasn’t pain, I don’t want to know what is,’ Kane thought to himself as he was led out of the room. ‘Gerbil! Where are you?!’

* * *

Gerbil and Junkie Jake entered the lounge room, Gerbil moving towards where the switch to open the secret passage was hidden.

Turning, he saw Jake standing there, watching him.

“It might be best, Jacob, if you turned around.”

“It’s frigging Jake, and why?”

“Because I do not think that it is prudent that you come with me into Inadequate Man’s secret hideout.”

“You don’t trust me? Wot do you fink I’m gonna do down there?”

“I don’t know. I just do not think that it would be prudent.”

“So you don’t trust me.”

“As a point of fact, no I do not Jacob. There are two things that I know are certain in this world, and one of them is never trust someone with a cockney accent.”

Jake raised his fist, glaring.

“Firstly, stuff you, prig. Secondly, what’s the other thing?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You said there was two things that you were certain of, what’s the other one?”

“Oh, Earl Grey tea is always best during the afternoon. Now, if you could please turn around.”

Jake growled, but did as he was asked.

Gerbil reached behind a statue, removing a false panel on its back and reaching in to the switch.

Flicking the switch, Gerbil moved to the closet, opening the door to reveal a passageway inside.

Pausing, Gerbil looked around the room, noticing the valuable artefacts that were spread around the room.

“On second thoughts, Master Jacob. Maybe you should come with me.”

Muttering under his breath, Jake turned back around and followed Gerbil down into Inadequate Man’s secret headquarters.

Arming themselves from the weapons’ cabinet, Jake and Gerbil left the house, calling Drew as they left.

“Miss, Mate. This is Gerbil. Have you discovered the location of the laboratory?”

“I did, Gerbil. Tell me where you are and I will come pick you up.”

“I am sorry, Miss Mate, but I cannot allow that. Our car is just as good as yours. Where can we pick you up?”

Drew Mate cursed at the other end before telling Gerbil where to pick her up.

Putting the mobile phone back into his pocket, Gerbil and Jake got in the car and headed out, Gerbil trying to keep his mind off what Kane must be going through at the moment.

* * *

Kane bit back the tears as best he could, but Dominatrix had been right. At the moment, Kane would give anything just to have a needle in his testicle.

“So, Inadequate Man? Do you think that we need any more weights on those nipple clamps? Or is there enough already?”

Small circles had been cut out of his suit with a scalpel, and sharp metal clamps had been fixed to his nipples, the five kilos hanging off each clamp causing the nipples to bleed.

Kane screamed there were enough weights on them already.

The room erupted in laughter. Boonditch leant forward from where he was sitting, slapping his hands on his knees.

“Och, those teets look like they could handle anoother ten poonds at leest!”

Kane screamed again, as Dominatrix came forward with extra weights, trying to convince her that they weren’t needed. Reaching up, Dominatrix flicked the catches and the clamps fell to the ground, the skin around Kane’s nipples shifting back into their proper position.

“Maybe they could handle another ten pounds, Boonditch, but I think it’s time to move on to other fun things to do with our little super-hero play toy.”

Boonditch stood up, moving into the light.

“I think it’s time to see just whoo the bastard underneeth the mask is, don’t ye?”

Boonditch reached up to remove Kane’s mask when Dominatrix’s whip looped around his hand, pulling it away.

“The mask stays on, Boonditch.”

Boonditch turned towards Dominatrix, furious.

“Why the hell doos it matter if the mask stays on or no?”

“Because when I kill him, he will go to the grave never being unmasked. If nobody ever knew who he was, then no one will ever know, and he will become no one.”

Boonditch stared at her blankly.

“It’s an existentialist thing, Boonditch. The mask stays on.”

Boonditch muttered something under his breath and went back to his chair.

Kuffs moved out of the shadows, slipping on brass knuckles as he stopped next to Dominatrix.

“Hey, let me have a go at him, Dominatrix. Ye have got no idea what this bastard has put me through.”

Dominatrix nodded and moved over to her own chair. Grinning, Kuffs moved to the front of Inadequate Man.

Kuffs ordered the henchmen standing around the room to cut the ropes that were suspending Inadequate Man above the floor.

Kane dropped to the ground, his legs giving way beneath him. His arm sockets burned from being hung by his wrists.

Kuffs smiled coldly at him as he circled.

“Every time we fought, ye have beaten me. But ye have super speed and super strength. Well, Inadequate Man, let’s see how ye go when ye can barely stand!”

Kane pushed himself onto all fours as Kuffs yelled at him to get up. Pushing harder, Kane was almost standing when Kuff’s boot slammed into his stomach, sending him back to the floor gasping for air.

“Tha’ was for the S&M Boys. According to the doctors, they’ll be fine in a few months, as long as we can find the rest of them after ye blew them up.”

Kane heard cheers from around the room, and started to get back up. Kuffs grabbed the back of his head and lifted it, sending his other fist, and the brass knuckles, into his temple.

Inadequate Man crashed to the floor again, his vision dancing in front of him and the laughter fading in and out. Looking up, he saw Kuffs standing over him, yelling something he couldn’t hear.

Kane stood up, wiping blood from his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Tell me something Kuffs, did Fagghus make you finish?”

Boonditch sprayed Guinness over the floor, choking on the beer he had been swallowing. Kuffs took a step back, shocked.

“What the ‘ell is ‘e talking aboot Kuffs? Ye didn’t do any o’ tha’ with me brother did ye?”

Kuffs started to disagree when Inadequate Man drove his fist into his jaw.

“Oh, yeah, Boonditch. Him and Fagghus were real close.”

Kuffs tried to protest that it wasn’t true when Kane picked him up from behind, throwing him into Boondtich and Dominatrix. Turning around, he grabbed the nipple clamps that were lying on the floor and threw them at the remaining two henchmen, the five kilo weights striking them in the head and knocking them unconscious.

Opening the door, he heard Dominatrix sound the alarm inside. A siren went off within the complex and guards started appearing from around every corner.

Kane saw an exit sign at the end of a corridor and started making his way towards it, fighting his way through the mass of henchmen in front of and behind him.

A thug came up behind him and smashed a chair over his head, sending him to the ground. Kane forced himself up, ignoring the fists and feet pummelling him from every direction.

He swung his fists, every punch connecting with something, and struggled towards the exit door.

Another thug jumped onto his back, beating his fist down on his head and Kane could feel the last of his strength leaving him.

Screaming, he grabbed the thug and flung him around into the henchmen behind him.

Further back down the hall, he heard Dominatrix yelling at her henchmen to capture Inadequate Man, as more and more henchmen piled into the hallway.

Kane felt his legs giving way as he reached out for the door handle. Turning it, he opened the door, the sunshine outside stinging his eyes.

Collapsing on the ground, he felt hands grabbing at his legs and as they started dragging him back inside. He tried to struggle, but couldn’t find the strength to move.

He heard shouting, and opened his eyes to see Gerbil, Jake and Drew rushing in with rifles. They opened fire and the henchmen started falling back.

Gerbil grabbed Kane around the shoulders and dragged him to where their car was waiting. Behind him, Jake kept firing into the thugs.

“Bleedin’ ‘urry up and get ‘im in the car. They just realised it’s only rubber bullets that we’re firing!”

Gerbil helped him into the car and got in himself, Jake and Drew firing off a few more rubber pellets before also getting in.

As Gerbil sped away, Kane opened his eyes to see henchmen pouring out of the laboratory, Dominatrix yelling at them.

Kane tried to move, his body sliding down the seat and his head landing in Drew’s lap. Looking up, he tried to smile but it hurt too much.

Drew smiled back, pushing some of his hair away from his mask.

As Kane drifted into unconsciousness, he thought to himself, ‘well at least this isn’t all bad.’

---

Copyright © 2002.
Any queries can be sent to inadequateman@hotmail.com