Last weekend my wife and I enjoyed a nice walk in the vicinity of Longview Farms. On our drive home we decided that pizza sounded like a good dinner. We wanted to sit down in a restaurant to enjoy some salad and drinks with our pizza, but we were low on money. The solution: we went to Pizza Hut (or Crap Hut as a good friend of mine like to call it). We figured that we could enjoy a meal at Pizza Hut (complete with salads and drinks) without dropping a lot of bills. Though my wife and I enjoy indie pizza, we rationalized our decision from an economic perspective, and indie pizza isn't all that affordable these days. This rationalization may have been the closest I have come to temporary insanity.

I had not "eaten in" at a Pizza Hut for quite a while. I wasn't missing out on much. I realized that the actual Pizza Hut restaurants are much like McDonalds restaurants in a few ways. The size of the Pizza Hut I went to couldn't have been much bigger than your average McDonalds. Pizza Hut definitely attracts a lot of families with children under 10 (which isn't a bad thing (depending on who you are)-- I'm just noting that it has a similar demographic as McDonalds). Furthermore, Pizza Hut servers are about as friendly and competent as the "average" McDonalds employee (the only difference is that they come to your table rather than stand behind a counter).

Right now, many readers may be thinking, "No shit. What's your point Lance??" My point is that I've always expected a little more out of a pizza restaurant than a place like McDonalds offers. Though I expected Pizza Hut to be very corporate, I never really thought of how the company really operate at a fast food levelÑexcept they aren't really that fast. Another thing that I haven't really missed by not eating in a Pizza Hut for so long is how expensive it can be. Normally, when one orders Pizza Hut at home, there are coupons at hand, or carry-out specials that are offered. Without coupons, Pizza Hut costs as much as most indie pizza establishments -- this was something I never realized.

Nevertheless, my wife and I found a deal on the menu that we found acceptableÑa medium pizza, 2 salads, and 2 drinks all for the low price of $13.99. It seemed like a pretty good deal on paper, but that was before I even made it to the salad bar. I may have been spoiled by the massive salad bars that establishments like Ryan's and Ponderosa offer, but the salad bar at this particular Pizza Hut has no more variety than you would have expected from a salad bar in 1981 (when the concept of making your own salad at a restaurant was relatively new). I think the only reason they had a salad bar in this place was to save themselves the trouble of hiring a snot-nosed punk to put salads together every time somebody orders one.

In addition, the plates at the salad bar were not much bigger than compact discs; thus, maximizing profits on the one-trip deals. It took a long time for us to get our pizza. Of course, it always takes a while to get your pizza when you eat at Pizza Hut, but I can't really say that the quality of the pizza seemed to be worth the wait (or worth enduring the music of Britney Spears and N*SYNC, which seemed to be on constant rotation in the jukebox).

The pizza was good enough to eat and it tasted alright, but overall it was mediocre. Fortunately, the soft drinks were pretty big, since we never really saw our server from the time we finally got our pizza to the time we got our bill (I suppose they probably don't like to pay out on the free refills). By the end of the meal, my wife and I were left wondering why $13.99 ($15.04 after tax) seemed like such a bargain.

The bottom lines: If you're goint to eat pizza from Pizza Hut in order to save a few bucks, save yourself the extra misery and order carry-out or delivery (and don't forget to use coupons). If you're going to the expense of going out to eat pizza, don't go to Pizza Hut. Instead, go to your local indie pizza place -- you'll thank yourself for it later.

If you would like to share any ideas, e-mail the publisher at indiepizza@yahoo.com or visit the Indie Pizza Message Board .