Retina knows who his opponents will be.
Their names are:
|
Nelson DiChezzerai
Blinky Blinky Wicky Wacky Party Candidate
|
Zeus
Deity Party Candidate
|
Satch DeLeon
Tragically Hip Party Candidate
|
Picky McNotuse:
BBWW Party VP Candidate
|
Deity Party VP Candidate
Artie The Strongest Man in the World
|
Scruff McGruff:
Tragically Hip Party Candidate
|
Electoral College--10/05/2020
|
Updated Electoral
College as of 10/17/2020
|
As you can see, Indigo Retina has
a strong following in the Great Plains and Midwest, and his holding of
Texas ensures a strong second half of the campaign for him.
The electoral vote totals will be as such
for this week of the campaign in 2020:
| Indigo
Retina |
151
(formerly 160) |
| Satch
DeLeon |
122
(formerly 113) |
| Nelson DiChezzerai |
148 (formerly
166) |
| Zeus |
83
(unchanged since last week) |
| Too
Close to Call |
51
(Wisconsin, Illinois, Connecticut, Tennessee, Iowa,
Minnesota, North
Carolina) |
The popular vote for this week in 2020
will be as such:
| Indigo
Retina |
36%
(formerly 35%) |
| Satch
DeLeon |
28%
(formerly 27%) |
| Nelson DiChezzerai |
28% (formerly
29%) |
| Zeus |
4% |
| Undecided |
4% |
Campaign
Headlines:
Week
of Debates Ends
Retina:
2, DeLeon: 1, DiChezzerai and Zeus: 0
| The major week of back-to-back-to-back
electoral debates ended this week, with Retina winning 2, and DeLeon winning
1. DiChezzerai and Zeus were left in the dust on such issues as campaign
finance re-reform, defense funding, and deficit spending.
Zeus did the worst, citing sources like
"That guy who made all those 'Where's Waldo?' books", or "Some chick
I know." for his responses to questions on health care and foreign policy.
Despite his low marks in the debates, Zeus
is doing better in the New England states than ever. However, he will have
to expand his supporter base if he wishes to win in the electoral college.
Retina won the first debate (podium-style) with several eloquent remarks on preventing economic destabilization and fuzzy rabbits. DeLeon picked up the second debate (roundtable, less formal style) with his pointed criticisms of Retina and DiChezzerai's foreign policies, and an attack on Zeus's character. Retina scooped up the third debate (Q&A, informal) by being witty and fast-thinking. |
The election is 2 weeks
away.
Who will live here for
the next 4 years? |
It's a good thing, too,
because this year the third debate's theme was "Whose Line Is It Anyway?".
Drew Carey hosted, and the candidates improvised their way through "World's
Worst", "Hodown", and "Party Quirks".
"Zeus was hilarious
during 'World's Worst', but I felt he could have done better as the crack-addict/orthodontist
character in 'Party Quirks'. That's just me, I guess," Drew Porter of the
Minneapolis Reporter admitted Friday after the third debate, "The talk
around the water cooler here is that Retina's impersonation of a drunk
Jimmy Stewart in "Questionable Impressions" is what put him over the top
for that debate."
Retina won the third debate by "infinity
points".
A transcript
of the first debate is available on this very site. Next week, stay tuned
for a comprehensive look at all the candidates and their views prior to
the election.
Back to the Campaign
Trail Headline Links
|
